December's Winter
by Aya Salim
Summary: Nineteen years old high school student. Amanda who's living a dramatic live because of her absent father. As she is learning how to face her life's nightmares, dealing with the ups and downs, trying to get over them.
1. Australia

**_Author's Note :_ Huge Thanks to my best Author on the site for her continue help** **:) if it wasn't for you you Asya55 I'd never be here today or any other day to publish my first own story ever, THANK YOU SO MUCH ... **

**This is my own story, so please give credits if you shared :D**

Hope you'll enjoy, and be honest if you'll review :)

Enjoy ..

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><p><strong>1. Australia.<strong>

I came back form school half an hour ago, I rang the door bell when someone unlocked the door for me, but didn't open it so I can walk in. But it all came clear when I saw my brother behind the door; he raised his hands and said "eating!" So I walked in to find my sister there, she just came back from Richmond, Virginia. Where she went to visit Dad who left the house – for the zillion times – ... _Whatever!_

The minute I saw her thoughts started to rush into my mind... well life is FREAKING hilarious, wasn't this girl the one who always stood to Dad, saying whatever crossed her mind? Things like 'I hate you', 'you hate me' and so on. Wasn't she the one who always got Mom away from him 'cause of the things he did to her Well, I have to admit that sometimes she had a point, but still it doesn't give her the right to do so what she did. After all she was the one who blamed me so many times for calling our dad, even a small call made her so angry at me, talking to dad was always an issue between me and my sister, calling my dad to say a simple 'Hi, how you doing?' makes my sister go berserk.

So, what the hell happened to her? She is the good daughter now, the one who goes to visit him and stay for days? God, this is just- can't even find a word for it.

Anyway, I kissed and hugged her when I saw her inside – she's my sister who I missed after all – then I got up to my room to in order to change.

Once I entered my room, I took my shoes off, throwing my back bag on my bed as I sat down and took my white-ice cap off. Then I rested my back on the bed as I stared at the ceiling for a while. A few minutes later, I got out of my room as I changed into my orange t-shirt and black trousers. _God it was cold, still I put __on__ thin cloth__es_.

I went to the kitchen to see what we have for dinner, I was starving as I came home late and didn't catch up the dinner with the family – or the members left of it. I got some chicken and rice and went to watch TV as I was surfing the channels, but didn't find a damn thing to watch. _God TV is boring these days, don't you think?_ When I got done with my food, I turned and saw the door of Mom's room still closed, which was weird because she didn't get out to greet me when I came back, so I went to knock on the door fooling around. "Well Mom, you don't want to see my face today or what, haven't you missed me or something?" Wow the door is was opening now but to be honest, I wish it didn't. Mom stormed out shouting at me.

"I don't wanna see anyone!" _Well that was a great welcoming_, I thought rolling my eyes.

"Well, I didn't do anything wrong, or did I?" I huffed.

"I didn't mean you Amanda!" mom told me.

"She means me." My sister said in a calm tone from behind, I turned around confused.

"What the hell?" I said, but then the door was slammed closed again. My sister went to bed leaving no chance for me to know what the hell was going on; well it was good because I wasn't in the mood to ask either. I was dead tired after a long tiring day at school; I spent about 12 hours outside in one of the crappiest days anyone can witness at school, Monday! I've always hated Mondays; it was the beginning of the week, and the start of our struggle to success. So now I ran to open my laptop 'my baby' and wrote my life story… "I've must gone insane!" (I said talking to myself.)

**...**

**(General point of view…)**

Amanda shutdown her laptop looking confused, as if it wasn't under her will to write all these stuff, she was so tired feeling the heat coming out of her body, she touched her red cheeks with her cold hands trying to ease the heat a bit. She thought the best thing to do right now was to go to bed and try to get some rest, the house' members weren't better, and everyone was in their own world, Amanda walked to her room taking a last look on the closed door of her mother's room, putting her hand on her neck as she shook her head walking away.

Resting her body, Amanda drifted into a deep sleep.

In a beautiful place, where the sun was shining, sand was golden, and the sea… the sea was one of the most beautiful and magical views in the world, it was so pure, so blue… _so indescribable_. The smell of the sea, the warm sun rays on Amanda's body, the tender feeling of the wind brushing her cheeks. The whole scene was breath taking. Amanda stretched her arms, smelling the smell of freedom, the happiness, and the beauty she never felt before, smiling as she looked around, she saw that there was no one there but her, and the feeling of being alone, far from everyone and everything was GREAT, freedom felt so good.

Amanda ran across the beach till she saw some people, they were smiling at her as if they were welcoming her in Heaven_**. Heaven!**_

Right, it was the Heaven for her, the only thing that crossed her mind about that beautiful place. She ran fast and hugged the air, running around and moving in circles, as her smooth long brown hair was dancing around with her… Amanda was happy and smiling to life.

Finally she realized that she wasn't in Heaven, she was in Australia, but, how? Why? No idea, she just knew it, she loved the people of Australia, the streets, and every small detail. After running around and laughing, she decided to get back to the beach, to that little perfect piece of Heaven!

Amanda sat in front of the water, holding her knees to her chest smiling as she stared at the view she knew she was going to leave soon. She forgot about time, people, her whole life, she was now swimming deep in her own shell isolated from her surroundings and their effect, she couldn't hear anything out there but the sound of her breath and the waves crashing on the shore. Closing her eyes, taking a deep breath, she opened her eyes to find herself starched all over the bed hugging her pillow, she raised her head rubbing her eyes smiling to herself as she remembered the sweet moments she just had.

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><p><strong>Hope you liked it :D *hugs*<strong>


	2. High School

**Author's Note:** **Always a HUGE thanks ****my best writer on the site for her continue help, Asya55 thank you so much ****... you gotta read her work people it's AMAZING, always make me thrilled :D **

**Merry Christmas, Hope you enjoy the chapter :)**

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><p><em>I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh<br>I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away  
>I keep your photograph and I know it serves me well<br>I wanna hold you high and steal your pain_ 'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
>And I don't feel right when you're gone away<p>

_**...**_

"God! I adore this song." Amanda said as she turned up the volume. Nineteen years old Amanda was on her way to school; it was her last year at Lawrence Free State High School. It usually took her 30 minutes from her house to the school, which Amanda thought was the best part of her long day there. As she considered her quality time, being away from people, even her beloved ones... just her and her music, living her own world. Counting on her playlist to make her day better, turning her sad gloomy life to a better happy or even crazy one.

"The fun is over now", Amanda muttered in a grumpy tone, sighing once she got through the school gate. She took off her headphones and tossed them in her black jacket's pocket, slipping her hands in the pocket as well. Amanda kept walking through the parking lot watching everyone running to their classes, she entered the building and headed to her locker, finding her friends near, as they stood talking in front of their lockers as well.

"Amanda! Hey babe, what took you so long today?" Matt said, wrapping his arm around Amanda's shoulders grapping her closer to him.

"Babe? Really? "Amanda said looking at him dead in the eyes frowning.

"Oh Matt! You pissed off your girlfriend already" Natalie said with a smirk, turning around closing her locker.

"You've always been a smart girl, Nat" Amanda said looking back to Matt who had a confused look on his face. Seeing him like that, the two girls burst into laughter "you never learn." Amanda said between her laughs.

"Not again!" Matt said after a moment of silence, taking a step back making the two girls laugh harder seeing the expression on his face.

"You're the easy one, your bad not mine." Amanda winked at him teasing, still laughing.

"You two …." Matt turned around and didn't bother to finish his sentence; he threw his arms in the air and walked to the class.

"Did you see that?" Natalie asked in concern, turning back to Amanda who was looking at Matt walking away. "Do you think he's mad or something?" Amanda gave her 'are you kidding?' look.

"It's Matt for god sakes!" Amanda turned to her locker still laughing, she grabbed the books and the girls walked together to the class.

"And seriously, would you please stop _'the girlfriend_' thing?" Amanda said in a calm serious tone breaking off the silence, "you know I don't like when you do that." Natalie nodded without looking at Amanda. "Okay then, let's start the 'no more fun' part of the day." Amanda muttered walking into the class.

She sat down where she usually sits, in front of Natalie, while Matt sat on behind them at the end of the raw.

Sitting down, Amanda glanced at Matt who seemed normal, she sighed in relief, as she thought for a second that he could be mad or something after what she and Natalie did to him, but fortunately he wasn't. Truth to be told, they always teased him that way, making him look like a fool, but Matt always nailed his payback, always getting to them.

**...**

Matt was like an older brother for Amanda – not that old since he was only a month older than her. He's been always a great friend and brother; she knew he would be the first one to stand by her whenever something bad happens. But the fact that he had a thing for her didn't make her so comfortable around him. He was a great guy but he was only a friend to her, nothing more, he didn't have what it takes to steal her heart.

Amanda smiled to herself remembering the day she first met him 3 years ago. He was a tall guy, with a dark black wavy hair, brown eyes like hers and a muscled body … which simply means 'A Hot Typical Guy' … remembering how she was smiling like an idiot when she saw him, almost drooling as she couldn't take her eyes off him, which was the reason he noticed her, and when he smiled it made her cheeks go red and she only smiled back at him out of her embarrassment looking the other way before she makes of herself a complete idiot – more than she already was.

She thought then he was the one for her – for a sixteen years girl thoughts – but after they knew each other better, she knew they couldn't be anything but friends, consider Matt a brother.

Suddenly, Amanda was pulled out of her thoughts when the professor entered the class and asked for their attention.

**...**

The class was over and the professor dismissed the students, Amanda waited for Matt and Natalie to get their stuff ready in order to leave the class. "So we have an hour to waste, girls … what are we gonna do?" Matt asked holding both girls, one on each side walking between them.

"Let's go to eat something, I'm starving!" Natalie said looking at Matt and Amanda waiting for their answer. Matt nodded while Amanda didn't answer looking like she was in her own dreamland.

"Tell me you're not listening to your mp4, Amanda!" Natalie said shaking Amanda's arm, Amanda turned to face her.

"No I'm not", Natalie rolled her eyes, "What?" Amanda snapped a little.

"Nothing, are we eating or what?" Natalie said breaking eye contact with Amanda.

"Yeah." Amanda answered in a whisper.

"Okay girls let's go to the cafeteria, I heard they have a great burger today." Matt said starting to walk again with the girls.

Once they entered the cafeteria, they found it so crowded, the three of them looked here and there to find an empty table to sit at. "There!" Matt said shouting pointing at an empty table; they headed to it and sat. "So what are we gonna eat?" Matt asked glancing at the people around them knocking on the tables with his fingernails.

"Well, you said they have good burger so I'll have a cheese burger, fries and cola." Natalie told Matt as he stood up in order to go get the food, "and you Amanda?"

Amanda looked up at Matt. "I'll have fries and a cup of water."

"Okay." Matt went to get the food while Natalie was following him with her eyes, and once he got away enough, she looked at Amanda with full of questions eyes, she just kept staring at her.

"What?" Amanda shouted in whisper at her.

"Seriously, what's going on with you today?" Natalie asked keeping her voice down so Matt won't hear them, "you're not acting like yourself today, since you got here, what's going on?"

"Nothing is going on, you're the one who has been acting weird since the day started, not me."

"Yeah right, like I don't know you better than the back of my hand." .

Amanda didn't answer; she just looked away trying to avoid any more questions. Natalie was about to say something but Matt came back with the food. "This ain't over!" she whispered. Amanda sighed, thanking god that Matt came back and saved her ass.

Amanda wasn't the sharing caring type, she never was, she was one of those people who loved to keep their issues buried down, away and hidden from the world, never talk about them pushing them down until she forget all about – _or at least she thought so_ – and Natalie didn't like this, she was trying to make her speak up to her or Matt, but it always felt like talking to a wall. Amanda was a stubborn headed girl, which was the biggest pain in Natalie's ass, who always pushed her to talk, and that was the only thing Amanda couldn't stand about Natalie. Amanda knew it was out of love and concern. But it was a life style Amanda got used to, she didn't share her problems with anyone, even her best friends, as she thought she would make them suffer carrying the heavy weight of her issues. And even in her darkest times, she never let anyone in.

"Today's class was sucked big time, stupid professor!" Matt said with a mouth full of food, the girls looked at him and couldn't hold their laughter.

"Watch your mouth big boy, who knows, we might have rats in the room." Amanda said laughing, pointing at the table next to them with her head.

Matt swallowed. "Well she kept asking me stupid questions about the historical freaking events this damn month." The girls kept laughing at him. "As if no body was there but me, I always hated history ", he paused, "and women!"

Natalie stopped eating and glared at Matt while Amanda was watching the two of them and laughing, "Come on Nat! You're not women you know." Matt said teasing.

Natalie was about to snap, but he talked first. "You're a girl, babe. A hot one too." he winked at her, she rolled her eyes sighing, she turned to look at Amanda who was laughing at them and playing with her food, the plate was still full of food. Natalie turned back to her food concerned about what's going on with her friend – more like her sister -...

...

_'Cause I'm broken when I'm open  
>And I don't feel like I am strong enough<br>'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
>And I don't feel right when you're gone away<em>

'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome  
>And I don't feel right when you're gone away<p>

You've gone away  
>You don't feel me here anymore<p>

…..

Reaching the front door of her house, Amanda stopped the music as she took off her headphones, wiping the tear that escaped her eye and ran down her cheek. Taking a deep breath, she knocked on the door.

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><p><strong>Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it :) and stay tuned for the 3rd ch ... review is always appreciated :D *Hugs*<br>**


	3. Family Matters

**_Author's Note:_ As usual, The HUGE 'thank you' for you my sweet sister, Asya55. Check out her stories guys, they'll blew your mind :D**

**Big thanks to Lulu J Ackles, Rana El Degwi, Nancy Yousry Elkady, Shazo Vampi.. and OF COURSE dear bro Stefan Heart Salvatore :) thank you so much for your words, you ROCK :DD *MASSIVE HUG***

**Time for me to shut up and let you read ;) wish you a Merry Christmas :) hope you like the chapter.**

**ENJOY!**

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><p><em>"Home Sweet Home!" hmmm this sentence isn't working for me <em>_at the moment__, __through out my whole life,__ I sanctifie__d my life to__ the family in all meaning __of the word. I__ always __did my best__ do__ing__ whatever it takes to keep all of us together, I __feel much better__ when the people I love and care about are around me, it makes me feel 'whole' …. _

_But unfortunately nothing that I did – or will __ever__ do – can __get__ all of us back together again, or __to __be like any normal loving connected family__ like we used to be__. Well, let's be more logical, I know that this i__s__ the best for all of us. _

_Dad now is away, and it's the best for him and us, like he always said, he wish he doesn't have to be bothered by us or our stupid problems and now he got it, and as much as I hate not seeing him, I feel better, no more fights, mum isn't suffering anymore like she used to when he was around, and we are living in more peace than we ever did. Still, it feels like something is missing inside of me, like a hole that I can not fill, and to be honest, I don't think I will ever do._

_I feel like.._

Amanda closed her notebook unable to continue, she didn't know what to write, or what was the right thing to be written. She got out of her room and went downstairs to see if her mother needed any help in the kitchen. On her way she saw her sister sitting on her laptop, without thinking, Amanda got into the room.

"Hey, Susan!" Amanda said sitting on the couch in front of her sister. "Hey." Susan said looking at her laptop screen.

"So how is work going?" Amanda asked Suzan, who was working as an accountant in one of the local companies.

"Same old, same old." she said still not looking at Amanda.

"Nothing new?"

Suzan shook her head, "so what about your boyfriend?" Amanda paused, "how are you two doing?"

Suzan shut down her laptop looking at Amanda's face _finally._ "Fine!" she huffed.

"Good." A moment of silence passed when Amanda broke the silence asking, "You and mom still not talking?"

"I thought you're done, detective!" Suzan said in a sarcastic tone.

"Ha-ha, funny sis, seriously what's going on between you two?"

"You know what's going on Amanda, don't try to be a smartass."

"Boyfriend issues, ha?"

"Yeah, I'm sick of the way mom is treating me, I'm 22 for god sakes, and she can't keep treating me like a baby. I have the right to be with the one I want!"

"Whoa, calm down, you know she just wants the best for you, that's all."

"No she screwed her life up, and now she wants to screw mine." Suzan snapped standing up.

"_NO WAY IN HELL_, look, you're mad and you don't know how to think, so let's just forget about it, okay?"

"Too late sis, I've already told dad everything."

Amanda's eyes widened, her mind literally frozen, she knew then what made Suzan travel to their dad in the first place, but it was the last thing Amanda could think of, she swallowed hard. "What did you tell him exactly?"

"I told him everything, Amanda! I told him that mom doesn't want me with Chris anymore, 'cause out of the blue she thinks he's not a good person and a psycho. I told him everything that mom said and did." Suzan paused, while Amanda was staring at her, "I dunno what even made mom think like that in the first place, she couldn't think of anything to get us apart so she made the whole thing up." She added shouting.

_Under normal __circumstances__, dad would be the first one to refuse Chris, but now he was trying to get closer to us, more than mom, to win us on his side_, Amanda thought. "And I guess he has no problem with it, right?"

"Actually he's supporting me too." Suzan nodded, "that's …" Amanda muttered to herself, biting on her lips unable to finish what she really wanted to say.

"Why you're making it a big deal? We all know that dad will stay always dad, and he has the right to know too." Suzan paused. "Beside, we all know that Chris is a good guy!"

_"NOW! Now you're saying this? Not you Suzan, of all people!" _Amanda thought unable to speak, she couldn't believe what she was hearing, she just froze.

"Just forget about it, I have a lot of work to do right now." Suzan said sitting on the couch again, and then she turned on the laptop getting back to her work. Amanda stood watching her with parted lips then she left the room without saying a word, as she went to the kitchen trying to think of anything else to distract herself.

"Hey mom, do you need any help?" Amanda said walking into the kitchen.

"Wow you're out of your room, finally!" her mother said in a surprise, Amanda gave her a weak smile. "Come on mom, I'm here now, take your revenge."

"Okay then, go and prepare the table, please." She asked handing Amanda the plates.

"What a heavy revenge!" Amanda muttered leaving her mother laughing in the kitchen.

**...**

After dinner, Amanda went out of the house for some fresh air. She kept walking in the small garden they had that Amanda liked very much, it was full of happy memories, bad ones too, still it was her favorite part of the house. She sat under the tree – the only tree in the garden – then she looked up at the sky, drifting to another world, but that didn't last long as she was pulled back to reality when she heard her brother's car parking in front of the house, but Amanda didn't move, sitting there even after she noticed that her brother had brought a friend with him.

Twenty five years old Tom, who worked as an insurance management in one of the most known cars companies in New York, he was Amanda's only and oldest brother, since she was the youngest. Working in New York was the reason Tom wasn't living with them, he came every once and a while, and within the whole time he was staying, he brought friends to the house. But he never let his sisters get to know them, Amanda never knew why, was it for protecting them or for something else? She never knew, so she just sat there watching them getting into the house.

A couple of hours later, it was almost midnight and it was getting colder, Amanda stood up and walked to the house rubbing her arms, trying to get warm. The minute she was about to open the door someone opened it from the other side. It was her brother's friend, opening the door suddenly made her freeze in her place, the space between the two of them was too small that the two of them froze in surprise, but then the guy took a step back clearing his throat.

"I'm sorry I was just leaving." He excused.

"It's okay." Amanda smiled at him. "You're Tom's friend, right?"

He smiled back. "Yes, and you are?"

"Amanda, I'm his younger sister."

"I'm Kevin." He stretched his hand for her to shake.

"Well I gotta admit your brother is an ass, how dare he to hide such a beautiful sister from me?" Kevin said still holding her hands making her blushing. Amanda took back her hand, feeling awkward that he kept holding it all that long.

"Well, next time ask him!" She said smiling in shyness.

"I will next time, definitely." he said nodding. She walked through the door, and now Kevin was outside, still he couldnt take his eyes away from her, a momrnt of silence passed but then, he relaized he was supposed to leave.

"So, I'll go now." he said and Amanda nodded smiling. "Okay I guess we will meet again soon, I hope so." he paused. "Goodnight, Amanda."

"Goodnight, Kevin!" she said watching him leaving then he looked back at her for one last time, and smiled.

When he was out of sight, she shut the door behind her as a big smile was on her face. She found that everyone went to bed but Tom, who was still watching a movie drinking some beer, he seemed as if he was in another world that he didn't even notice her. She turned and went upstairs to her room.

Once Amanda got into her room, she closed the door behind her and leaned against it smiling thinking of Kevin who took her breath away once she looked at his bottomless blue eyes, they have something she never saw in anyone else's eyes, _'what is it?'_ She wondered sighing in happiness then moved away from the door as she went to the bathroom in order to have a hot shower before going to bed.

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><p><strong>How was that :D ? *worried look*, hope you liked the new Character, I like it though :P <strong>

**Hope you loved it guys, please review if you did *puppy eyes*, HUGS!**


	4. We Met Again!

**A****uthor's Note :** **Big thanks to my dear friends for their continue support: Lulu J Ackles, Nancy Yousry ElKady, Rana El Degwi and bro Stefan Heart Salvatore.**

**And the very special thanks to my best author on the site, Asya55 :DD thank you for being such an amazing beta and great sister :D YOU ROCK !**

**P.S: I'm not gonna update soon, have my term exams and will finish on Jan24th, promise I'll try to update right after I get back, pray for me guys :D  
><strong>

**Okay then, ready to know more about Kevin? do you wanna know more about his features? well then all you gotta do it to read this ch :D**

**Hope you like it ;) Enjoy!**

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><p>It was 7 in the morning when Amanda woke up; she rested her back against the bed headboard thinking of the last night, the same smile from yesterday was still on her face. Amanda remembered Kevin, his gentle soft touch when they shook hands, she wanted to meet him again, just wanted to see his face one more time, more than anything. She got off the bed and went to the bathroom for morning rituals, when she was done, she stood in front of the curved mirror above the cherry wood dresser, thinking of what she should wear, she was in a good mood and wanted to look good as well…. <em>perfect<em>.

Sorting through her outfits, Amanda finally knew what to wear, she wore skinny blue jeans, a simple black half boots, a gray belted wool coat and added a pink scarf that drew attention to her face. She wasn't sure about the white hat, _'should I put that hat on?'_ she thought and pulled her hair back with a pink ribbon to see how she would look like, then she finally put the hat on, and applied a light morning make up, "Now we can go." She said smiling at her reflection in the mirror, grabbing her mp4 and cell phone, leaving the room.

Amanda's mother heard her walking down the stairs, it was 8am and everyone was already awake and getting ready for breakfast. "Morning, mom!" Amanda said smiling at her, moving closer pressing a soft kiss on her cheek.

"Morning baby," her mother said kissing back, "you look fantastic."

"Really?" Amanda said rounding showing off her outfit and she posed like a super model in front of her mother, with a big smile on her face, letting her check her out.

"Yeah sure, and in a good mood too," her mother said studying her features with a wide smile, "Okay, now sit down and eat something before you go, honey."

"I can't mom, I'm already late."

"I'll make you a sandwich; eat it on the way."

"Thanks mummy, I really gotta go." Amanda said running to the front door, and closed it behind her, as her mother's voice faded away.

Amanda put her headphones on and started to walk, she walked down these streets like a billion time before, but this time was totally different. She didn't see but the beauty of them, the blue sky, the birds flying in happiness, and the smell of the fresh air mixed with the smell of the flowers, she felt as if the world was dancing with her, everything was beautiful, she had a good feeling about that day.

Arriving to school, Amanda was late and her friends were already in their classes, so she grabbed her books and ran to the class as fast as she could. The professor was already in, but luckily, Professor Wisely was a kind person, and he always treated his students as if they were his younger siblings, so he let her in, with an embarrassed look on her face, Amanda glanced at Matt and Natalie who were laughing at her expression.

An hour passed and Amanda was still drowning in her own thoughts, she was thinking about Kevin and how much she wanted to see him again, once the professor dismissed them, she found Natalie standing behind her, "I've missed you girl!" Natalie said turning to hug Amanda,

"They were only two days, Nat… missed me that much already?" Amanda said returning Natalie's tight hug.

"I just had a bad dream today, and wanted to see you so much." she said pulling back almost tearing up.

"What? I was dying?" Amanda said laughing; earning a slap on her shoulder from Natalie.

"Not funny!" Natalie said in a serious tone.

"Chill out girl, we're all gonna die." Amanda said running away from Natalie, who was about to hit her with something.

"Matt, some help here, save me!" Amanda screamed for Matt's help laughing and running in circles away from Natalie in the long corridor.

"She's gonna eat you alive, and you know it." Matt said enjoying the scene of the two girls easing and fighting.

"Got ya!" Natalie said grapping Amanda's arm, who surrendered and stopped running. "Girl you're fast." she added laughing.

"Wow you can laugh? I thought you're afraid that your face might crack!" Amanda said teasing Natalie who was panting and laughing.

"Girls, I really hate to ruin the moment, but I have to go." Matt said snapping them back to reality.

"Where are you going?" Amanda questioned, turning to face him.

"The game girls, it's Decembers 12th already, and the coach is working our asses off these days, only a week left." Matt answered.

"Yeah, yeah I totally forgot about it," Amanda said nodding. "Okay then go get them, tiger." Natalie said winking at Matt, as he ran out of the building to the football yard.

"I wish Matt would stop wearing that fake smile, the poker face isn't working anymore!" Amanda let out a heavy sigh.

"I totally agree, all this time, since the last summer and he's been blaming himself for what happened," Natalie exchanged a nod with Amanda, "what happened wasn't anyone's fault, it was just…." she paused, "just fate." She added in a sad tone.

"Losing almost your whole family, in one night, isn't that easy, Natalie!" Amanda said solemnly.

Natalie's face dropped, she felt she hit a sensitive nerve, losing family members was something Amanda kind of got used to, especially after the horrible year she had, that started with the death of her grandmother, who was like a second mother to her, and later that year, their father left as well, right before Thanksgiving, when they were all ready to have a nice family time. Natalie thought, "But his dad isn't making it any either, always drunk and wasted," she said fast in order not to give Amanda the chance think of her own loss.

"And who blames the man? He lost his wife and daughter in the same night!" Amanda said getting a bit grumpy.

"No Amanda!" Natalie rolled her eyes at Amanda, "Driving the car when everything happened in a flash doesn't make it Matt's fault."

Amanda turned to face Natalie, shaking her head, "I didn't mean it that way,–"

"I know you didn't, but Matt's father is irresponsible, he was supposed to be the one to contain Matt and make it easier for him, instead, he took all the weight off his shoulders and threw it on Matt's, blaming him for what happened, what the hell kind of father is that?" Natalie interrupted Amanda, finishing her last sentence with a snap.

"Okay, I get you." Amanda huffed in a calmer tone, "Let's not fight over that, please!"

"Yeah, it'd be much better."

After a moment of silence, both girls were calmer and bad thoughts away, _time to have some fun_. Natalie thought.

"I guess we need to gather the girls and start to prepare for the dance, we're already late." Natalie said looking back at Amanda.

"Yeah this is gonna be a busy week, I don't know, what's the point of making the homecoming dance right after the game?" Amanda paused waving her hand, "Maybe they wanna celebrate winning the game." she answered her own question chuckling a little.

"Confident dicks!" Natalie exclaimed giggling.

"Okay we still have time, let's hang around a little."

"Can't agree more." Natalie Smiled and the two girls walked together through the long corridor that stretched before them.

Leaving the building, the sunrays met with Amanda's brown eyes making them sparkle, turning into a light beautiful color that matched her outfit making it look even better. "By the way, you look fabulous today," Natalie said winking.

"I know!" Amanda said giggling, "And in a great mood too." she added.

"Yeah I've noticed, last week you weren't the Amanda I know, but now you're back".

"Yeah," Amanda nodded.

"So?"

"So what?"

"Spill it girl," Natalie said teasing.

"Nothing, I just woke up feeling good."

"And that's because…?"

Amanda didn't bother to answer Natalie's question; she only kept teasing her by her silence.

"A guy?" Natalie asked impatiently, stopping in her tracks, making Amanda look the other way letting a small laugh out.

"_WOW_, I knew it!" Natalie screamed turning Amanda to face her.

"Shush, your voice, Nat!" Amanda said smiling.

"Come on, joy killer! Did you kiss?"

"What?" Amanda raised an eyebrow, "look Nat, we just shook hands."

"You what? Oh my god," Natalie's face shifted from smiling to confusion in a second, "Amanda you should have seen your face today, you looked as if you're in love."

"What? Come on!" Amanda said, feeling awkward.

"You did look like someone who's in love," Natalie said chuckling, "so how exactly did you meet him? Is he someone we know? What did he say to you?"

"Ha-ha, calm down Nat," she smiled, "first of all he's Tom's friend." She said explaining firmly.

"Are you kidding me? Since when Tom's letting you meet his friends?" Natalie asked, narrowing her eyes.

"Well he's not, Tom will never change, so don't dream of it." Natalie just stared at her waiting for a reasonable answer, Amanda sighed. "I was in the house garden, and then I decided to get inside exactly when he was coming out, so we crashed, pure accident."

"And?"

"And I told him my name and that I'm Tom's sister, we shook hands and that's all."

"Mmm, I see. What's his name?"

"Kevin!" Amanda said smiling, touching her hand.

"Lucky, Kevin!" Natalie smiled seeing the expression on her friend's face.

"So, the dance!" Amanda cleared her throat, changing the subject.

"Yeah let's go then," Natalie smiled and took Amanda's hand, and they started walking together again.

_"Amanda!" _

"Did you hear something?" Natalie said turning around.

"Heard what?"

"Someone is calling your name."

"Really? Who?" Amanda questioned turning around too.

"Amanda, over here!"

From where the girls were standing, Amanda could see a guy in black jeans, a tight fitting t-shirt that showed his muscular body even with a jacket over it, and a dark leather jacket walking towards them. He wasn't tall, yet not too short, _he was perfect_, Amanda thought. He had a stylish short sun-kissed blond hair, and the hair style alone made him look like a celebrity, even reminded Amanda of how Bard Bitt used to look in some of his movies.

Amanda opened her mouth to talk, and it came in a whisper, "it's Kevin!"

"OH MY GOD! Amanda he's freaking hot!" Natalie gasped.

"You can say that again!" Breathed Amanda.

"Hey Amanda!" Kevin said with a big smile on his face as he reached the two girls,

"Hey!" Amanda swallowed.

He smiled waiting for her to introduce her friend to him, but her tongue was tied, it was a big surprise for her, she didn't expect to see him right then, or even right there, at _her_ school.

"Hey, I'm Natalie, Amanda's friend." Natalie said easing the awkward moment, stretching her hand for him.

"Nice to meet you, Natalie, I'm Kevin." he shook her hand smiling, then he looked at Amanda who was almost frozen, "How are you, Amanda?"

"I'm good," she said nodding, "and you?"

"Actually, I'm great." he said still smiling at her. Natalie looked at the two of them and thought she should give Amanda the chance to get to know him better_, it could be the best chance for both of them_, she thought.

"Well, I gotta go to gather the girls and tell them what to do and all," she said squeezing Amanda's hand, reassuring her. "I'll see you later." Natalie winked at her and left before Amanda could say anything, when Amanda was watching her running to the building.

"Your friend is nice."

"Yeah, she is." She said turning to face Kevin.

After she managed to put herself back together, Amanda looked up at him. "How did you get here?"

"Well, by my car!" he said still smiling, she laughed a little.

"I mean how did you know where my school is?"

"Oh, about that!" He chuckled. "Well, every time I go to your house, I see those cheerleader cups, among other things, and of course the name of your school was written on them." He paused. "Plus, I knew that Tom's only sister is in high school."

She forced a smile, _'so Tom doesn't know about any of this! Awesome'_, she thought frowning a bit.

"Is it a bad surprise?" he said in a serious tone.

"No, I just realized how much I look like a high school girl." she said smiling.

"Well, I can't complain of how you look," Kevin flirted, yet, he was careful, studying her face, to see how she was going to respond to his flirts.

"Thanks, I'll take that as compliments," she blushed, "walk?" Amanda said clearing her throat.

"Okay." they walked beside each other through the school yard when Kevin broke the silence, "So what do you study right here?"

"Well, it's my last year and I study American Literature, History, Stuff like that."

"Good, I live here in Lawrence, but I studied medicine in 'New York University' in Manhattan city."

"Really? This is great!" Amanda said surprised.

"Yeah, I just finished school and thought I'd come back and serve my city, plus I want to settle down here, home sweet home." He said looking into Amanda's eyes with a wide smile. She almost drowned in his bottomless blue eyes, she felt as if they were dragging her to another place, where everything is pure and _blue_, but she broke the eyes contact with him,

"So, how you and Tom knew each other?"

He smiled noticing she was trying to avoid any close contact with him, he liked her shyness and how soft she was. "Well..." he sighed looking away to give her the personal space she wanted, "It was my last year in med school, I met Tom that year when his girlfriend was in the hospital, I was the one in charge of the clinic that day, we chatted and found out that we are from the same state, and since then each time Tom was in New Work, we hang out together, till I finally got back home." he finished smiling again at her, then stopped walking.

"I see, but no offense I hate hospitals and everything related to them."

"Ouch, that hurts." he said smirking.

"Nothing personal, I just don't like them." she said saving the moment.

"It's okay, I understand, many peoples feel this way towards hospitals, and who blames them?"

"I'm sure you're a good doctor, but I don't want to know personally." she said chuckling.

After an hour of talking and walking, Amanda's cell phone rang. She grabbed it from her jeans, looking back again at Kevin… "It's Natalie, sorry." she said smiling at him then turned around to answer.

"_Have you kissed yet?" _Natalie asked teasing.

"You're calling for this?" Amanda said putting her hand on her waist.

"_Actually I'm not, Matt is about to finish and we're leaving, you're coming?" _

"Yeah, where are you?"

_"We're in the football yard, and seriously why you haven't kissed yet?"_

"Hung up, Nat." she sighed.

"_Don't make us wait."_ Natalie said giggling before she hung up.

Amanda turned to face Kevin, looking confused, trying to find words, "I gotta go, they are waiting for me and we're already late." she said in a weak smile.

"It's okay." Kevin said nodding. Amanda smiled back and was about to leave when Kevin suddenly reached for her hand, making her stop, "When I will see you again?" he said still holding her hand.

She looked at their clutching hands then looked up into his eyes; "I don't know." She stammered.

"Would you mind giving me your number?" he said leaving her hand, and took his cell from his jeans' back pocket.

"Yeah, sure." she said smiling. She gave him her number then she left. Amanda glanced behind her shoulder at him, he was still standing watching her leaving; she smiled in shyness and kept going.

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><p><strong>Hehehe, really! ;P hope you liked it guys, and please review if you liked it, tell me what do you think will happen next, and what do you think of Kevin :D<strong>

******HUGS :D**


	5. Coward!

**Author's Note: So Hey :D exams are finished means extra chapters, depends on your review guys :)**

**Just for now, want to thank the best author on the site "Asya55" for being a hell of a beta and sooo helpful and awesome, THANK YOU :D , thanks also to my facebook friends, "Chelsea Ross**" **and "Lulu J Ackles" Thank you so much for you words :)**

**P.S: Considering publishing a Supernatural story :D, also depends on your review and voting ;)**

** Enough with the blah blah, now ENJOY :D**

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><p>"Five days have passed already," Natalie huffed, "we've been stuck in this freaking gym for five days now!" She added sitting exhaustedly on the ground.<p>

"You were the ones who wanted to host the homecoming dance this year." Amanda said from the top of the ladder, teasing Natalie.

"Gosh, I didn't think it'd be that much tiring," Natalie said wiping her forehead with the back of her hand, " and I'm the one who thought using 'the artist' would make things easier!"

"Suck it up baby; we're almost done with it." Amanda said still standing on the ladder.

"Just quit painting and get your ass down here, take a break for the love of God." Natalie said snapping a bit.

Amanda noticed how stressed Natalie was; she got down of the ladder and sat next to her. "Don't worry, Nat; everything will be exactly like you imagined." Amanda said in a kind tone, resting her palm on Natalie's knee. "You have been planning for this night for so long, we we did our best, so don't worry, okay?" Amanda said looking at Natalie, who forced a weak smile.

"That's exactly what I mean; we two are spending the whole day here, trapped in the gym, working our asses off, you barely took any rest, Amanda!" Natalie snapped.

"Come on, Nat! We knew that this would happen when we asked to host the dance, not a newsflash."

"I know, but it should have been me, you should leave with the girls when school is over, your role was to design, but instead, you're doing everything on your own, even my work." Natalie said in a guilty tone looking away.

Amanda let out a small laugh, then held Natalie's hand, "Look at me, Natalie," She said in a low voice, making Natalie look at her, "its okay, sis. I'm just helping you out, I hosted the dance last year, and I know how it's hard to do it all on your own." Amanda said smiling.

"Yeah," Natalie huffed, "but you're wearing yourself out Amanda, you don't eat or sleep, you're always here working, even when I'm not."

"Yeah, right," Amanda laughed sarcastically. "Because mom would allow me to stay out of the house for a whole week, she'd have killed me."

"You know what I mean, Amanda." Natalie sighed.

"I know honey, but believe me I don't mind spending most of the day here, considering the tension between Susan and mom back at the house," she sighed. "Beside Tom is being a dick these days, he's fooling around and acting like a baby." Amanda said getting up, folding her gray sleeves up.

"What's wrong? He knew about you and Kevin?" Natalie asked in a worried tone.

"No, he's going through dad's thing all over again, blaming and punishing mom for what dad did, leaving us and all." Amanda said picking up the brush again, in order to paint the wall as she stopped earlier to talk to her friend.

"Beside, what is the whole 'me and Kevin' thing? It's not like we're sleeping together or something." She added in a sarcastic tone.

"Talking on phone for a week, it's like sleeping together for Tom." Natalie said laughing, "Speaking of, how are you two doing?" she said standing up.

"We're fine." Amanda sighed.

"Nothing more than phone calls?" Natalie asked leaning against the wall in front of Amanda.

"No, he knows I'm busy with the dance, so we haven't seen each other since the last time he came here."

"So what's wrong then?" Natalie asked noticing the frown on Amanda's face.

"I don't know, Nat! Even we're not doing anything but talking on phone, I feel like I'm stealing," she sighed putting the brush on the ladder. "You know that I always tell mom everything that happens to me, hell I tell her if some guy came and asked me 'what is the time, miss?', I'm not used to hide anything from her."

"Tell her then, what are you waiting for?"

"I will, but I don't know what to do with Tom, and since mom isn't going to help me with that, I'll be all on my own, and you know my idiot for a brother and how he can be a dick."

"I don't know why you're making a big deal out of this, it's not like Kevin and you are involved in anything!"

"I'm not making it a big deal out of anything, Tom is," Amanda corrected, "you know how he reacts in such situations, it's like he's waiting for any of us to slip." she huffed.

"Well then as long as you and Kevin are just talking, don't tell him." Natalie said looking at Amanda, who raised an eyebrow, "What? There's nothing serious between you two so far, am I right?" Natalie added defensively.

"You're right." Amanda said thinking, "Okay let's go, it's 9 pm already, and we need to get some shopping done tomorrow, enough for today."

"Yeah, I can use a bed now." Natalie said yawning,

"Okay give me your keys, I'll drive."

Natalie gave Amanda the keys then they walked out of the building in the darkness to the parking lot. When they got into Natalie's car, Amanda started the engine, and then they hit the road.

Amanda pulled the car right outside of Natalie's house, which was not far from Amanda's, who turned to her now asleep friend to wake her up, "Wake up Nat, you're home." Amanda said shaking Natalie's shoulder.

"Okay just give me five more minutes." Natalie said in a sleepy tone making Amanda chuckle.

"Come on girl, go to your bed, and take all the fives you want."

When Natalie was finally awake, she got out of the car, "keep it with you, I'm sure you won't be able to walk, just like me." Natalie said waving to Amanda.

"Okay, sweet dreams honey, I'll come to pick you up tomorrow." Amanda said getting into the car again. Natalie nodded and walked to her house. When Amanda made sure that Natalie was in her house, she started the engine again and drove off to her own.

Getting out of the car, Amanda heard a noise coming out of the house; and the closer she got, the clearer and louder the noise got. _Not again!_ She thought getting inside the house.

**….**

"I don't get it, Tom! If you hate staying here that much, what are you waiting for? Get back to New York or go to your dad." She heard her mom shouting at Tom across the living room, while Susan was leaning against the wall beside the couch, looking upset.

Amanda moved towards them, "what's going on?" she asked confused.

"Oh, you're finally back!" Tom scoffed angrily, turning to face Amanda who felt her heart skipping a few beats, thinking that Tom might have found out about her and Kevin.

She looked dazedly at him, trying to figure out the right words to explain everything, which happened _accidentally_, thoughts rushing to her head fast and her head was about to explode.

Amanda felt like running, all she wanted at the moment was a safe place to hide in, a place far far away from her brother. Why? Why did she feel that way? Why was it so hard for her to get what she wanted? To be happy, at least for sometime?

She knew she wasn't asking for much, she wasn't asking for more than being happy, just a little. Even with the fact she and Kevin weren't together, not yet anyway, she did have a thing for him, he gave her hope, hope to have a different life, to be happy, maybe to fall in love. It was her right after all, to be loved, to have someone in her life, just like Tom had, more than once too.

So many mixed emotions were going on inside of Amanda's mind right now; she couldn't understand or explain most of them. However, she did recognize one, the one feeling that felt right the most, Tom didn't really matter then, he could do whatever he wanted, but she knew he wasn't going to take that feeling away from her, NOT that feeling.

"I… I was going to, _ " she was about to defined herself when her mother snapped interrupting.

"Don't you act as if I'm not talking to you, Thomas Green McDowell," She interrupted furiously pointing her finger at Tom, who was acting coldly, "you look at me when I'm speaking to you."

"What do you want to prove here? Ha? Dad, your sister, Susan and me, what, that we are all wrong and you're right?" he said daring his mother, "Give me a break."

"Tom is right; all you care about is your job and yourself." Susan said taking Tom's side.

Amanda was staring at the two of them, shocked by the way they were talking to – or attacking – their mother, she could not bite her tongue any more.

"How dare you to speak to mom like that?" she said trying to keep her voice steady, "Not after all she did for you Tom," she paused, "and you, Susan!"

"Wait, Amanda!" Her mother said in a shaky voice, unable to look at any of them, she raised her head slowly, "I'm not gonna defend myself, 'cause you two ain't worth it. However, I'm gonna say it once, if you hate me that much, get the hell out of my house. I'm not forcing any of you to stay with me, not like you're helping me or something." She said trying to hold her tears, glaring coldly at Tom and Susan.

"No, you can't just swallow their insults and shut up, mom." Amanda shouted angrily, "You Tom, who gave you the money to establish your whole life in New York? Wasn't it mom?" she said moving closer glaring at Tom.

He looked away, "yeah go on, hypocrite." He scoffed.

Amanda did not even bother to look back at him, with the fact that he might know about her and Kevin, she didn't want to risk picking a whole new separated fight with him. She just moved towards Susan, who rolled her eyes, knowing what Amanda was going to say.

"Good, you know then Susan," She said faking a surprised face, crossing her arms against her chest, "you know who usually stood by you against dad, and your ex-boyfriend, when dad didn't want him in your life,"

Amanda took a step back and stood in front of the two of them in the middle of the living room. "ANSWER ME!" she snapped.

"Stay out of it, Amanda." Susan told her.

"Yeah, you're not the one who will judge us, _little miss perfect_." Tom said spilling each word of his last sentence carefully supporting Susan.

"Being such a coward doesn't give you the right to shut me …"

"Enough!" their mother interrupted shouting at the three of them, knocking on the small table next to her hardly, "knock it off, all of you." She said storming out of the room.

"Well mom you're officially gone nuts." Tom muttered to himself, earning a death glare form Amanda.

"Coward!"

Tom left the room playing the 'I'm deaf' card, and Susan followed. Amanda didn't want to say anything else in order not to start another fight, cursing herself that she was about to slip and say everything about her and Kevin. Beside, she was running out of energy and all that she wanted was to have some rest.

Amanda went upstairs to her room slamming the door angrily behind her. She sat down on the bed trying to figure out everything that just happened; she had no idea what was going on, and why Susan and Tom teamed up and turned against their mother all of a sudden, and if Tom really knew about her and Kevin or not. Was he made at her? Or he was acting like himself, angry all the time, just like how their dad was. But if he really knew, why didn't he bring the fight to her and did what he always does? She shook her head trying to get all the thoughts out and went to take a hot calming shower.

After she was done with the shower, Amanda wrapped the towel around her body, as she went to stand in front of the steamy mirror.

Raising her hand to wipe it, Amanda suddenly felt dizzy, so she held on to the sink in front of her in order not to fall, then closed her eyes and took a deep breath to stop the spinning; feeling a little better, Amanda got dressed fast, picking up the first thing her eyes laid on, and hands reached, and went to bed without bothering to dry her hair. She was extremely exhausted to do anything, and once she rested her body on the bed, she drifted into a very deep sleep.

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><p><strong>So? What do you think, guys? dramatic ha? well so more to come... I have many ideas and I really want to share it with you, but I want you to leave reviews, so I can make sure that you like it, and go on publishing it. So please please please, review.. use this blue link below<strong> **:) don't you want to know more about Kevin or what? ;P REVIEW PLEASE *puppy eyes* **


	6. It's Complicated

_**Author's Note:**_** So sorry guys for the late update, so much blah was going on the past few day, I'll try to update faster the next time :) . Well then, the usual huge thanks to Asya55 for being a hell of a beta and awesome deary sister *kisses*, also big thanks to Kinai-Disraeli ****for the awesome review, as well my fb amazing sisters Lulu J Ackels, Nancy Elkady and Rana El Degwi thank you so much for being so sweet and your awesome reviews :D *Tons of love*. One last thing :P, according to your voting I finished a 'one-shot' SPN story and it should be up soon, there's also another longer one which I'm still working on... so stay tuned ;)**

**So quit with the blah blah and enjoy :)**** hope you like it guys ;D**

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><p>Next day at afternoon, Amanda's mother – Judith – heard knocking on the front door. Opening it, she saw Natalie who smiled at her once she saw her.<p>

"Hey, Aunt Judith," Natalie said smiling; Judith greeted her back as she walked in.

"So is the princess still asleep?" Natalie asked mocking, looking towards the stairs. "She should have picked me up a few hours ago; I called her like dozen times, but nothing." She said simply with a shrug.

"I'm afraid you're gonna have to wake her up, sweetie." Judith gave Natalie a weak smile pointing to her to go upstairs to wake up her friend.

"This won't go well!" Natalie muttered knowing how grumpy Amanda could get when someone wakes her up. When Amanda actually _sleeps_, she sleeps for a long time. Judith chuckled and wished her a good luck as she went to her room.

Walking into Amanda's room, Natalie headed to the bed, which was in front the door. She sat on the bed softly next to Amanda, smiling at the sight of her sleeping in peace like babies. Even though Natalie was happy seeing her friend asleep, considering the busy and tiring week they both had, especially Amanda, she knew she had to wake her up, and for that Natalie felt bad.

"Amanda," Natalie shook Amanda's shoulders gently, cursing herself now. But Amanda was in a deep sleep, forcing Natalie to call her name louder. She chuckled seeing Amanda turning on her other side, putting the pillow on her head, mumbling something that Natalie couldn't hear.

"Come on, Amanda." She said shaking her a bit harder, laughing at the way Amanda shoved her arms off her shoulder, "Rise, and shine, princess."

"You're an evil bitch, you know that?" Amanda snapped at Natalie once she opened her eyes, straightening up in the bed, still hugging the pillow.

"But you still love me," Natalie smirked winking at Amanda who was rubbing her eyes, getting the sleep out of them. Once she took a good look at Natalie, she raised an eyebrow seeing the change Natalie had made to her short brown red hair. "Nice new look, curly." She smirked.

"Do you like it?" Natalie questioned, running a hand through her hair, giving her a wide smile, "I think it makes me look taller."

"You're already tall, Nat." Amanda told her getting out of the bed.

"Well then it makes me hotter." She smirked getting in the bed instead of Amanda. "Come on, go put on some real clothes please, we need to hurry." She told Amanda who nodded in her way to the bathroom without looking back.

When Amanda was in the bathroom, Natalie was still in the bed searching for Amanda's cell phone; she glanced at the nightstand beside the bed and found it beside a picture of Amanda with her grandmother. She just smiled sadly and looked back at the bathroom door, and then she reached for the phone beside the picture checking out the missed calls.

In the bathroom, Amanda was searching for some painkillers in the medicine cabinet next to the mirror, as she still suffered from the same headache she had yesterday. She took a couple of pills hearing Natalie talking to her from the room.

"What were you saying?" Amanda opened the door, and poked her head out of the bathroom.

"I asked if your mom is okay," Natalie said in concern. "She looked pale as if she hadn't slept for a month, she didn't even see that I looked different with the haircut and all."

"Ugh, don't get me started," Amanda waved off, getting out of the bathroom, heading to her closet.

"Rough night, ha?" Natalie asked getting out of the bed, and Amanda nodded. "I see," Natalie said, still going through Amanda's phone. "That's why you didn't answer any of my damn fifteen missed calls," she added waving with the phone. "Or Kevin's."

Amanda turned and reached for her phone when Natalie simply took a step back, teasing her.

"Man, he called you like…." She said not taking her eyes off the screen, and finally she chuckled handing it to Amanda, "I lost count!"

Amanda smiled to herself seeing how many times he had called her last night, he probably hadn't even slept till the morning, when he finally stopped calling her.

"You're so gonna date this guy," Natalie said moving closer to stand beside Amanda, both of them staring at the screen now. "Oh, you're so gonna do it."

Amanda didn't say a word, letting out a small laugh turning back to her closet.

…**.**

Thirty minutes later, Amanda was done and both girls were ready to go. Amanda went to check on Susan before she went down the stairs; Susan's room was right across the long corridor. Not surprising, Amanda rolled her eyes seeing that Susa's bed was empty, figuring that she didn't even sleep in it last night. She could bet that Tom wasn't home either. After all, it was their habit, to run and hide, instead of actually facing the problem.

"Just like dad!" Amanda huffed in frustration, letting out a bitter laugh.

"I guess Tom isn't here," Natalie said, snapping Amanda out of her thoughts, and turning on her heals in her way to the stairs. Amanda smiled at the thought of how Natalie could read her mind, sometimes.

"Natalie," Amanda called her friend's name, clearing her throat. "Give me five minutes and I'll be right with you." She demanded softly, smiling at Natalie, who just nodded and closed the front door behind her.

Amanda let out a heavy sigh, closing her eyes; she took a deep breath before knocking on the closed door of her mother's room.

"Come on in, Amanda." She heard her mother's voice saying from the other side, she could recognize how shaken it was, and how her weary tone was slightly down.

"Hey, mom," Amanda smiled softly as she entered the room, seeing her mother sitting in the corner of the small couch next to the window that was covered by the pink curtains Amanda always loved, and used to play with when she was a kid, and how many times she almost ruined them, remembering that her dad always came to pick her up softly, holding her to him, in his warm embrace. Amanda closed her eyes at the memory, holding back a wave of sadness in order not to tear, then opened them again and looked to her mother.

"You didn't sleep?" she asked glancing on the still made up bed, Judith shook her head, still staring at the window the same way she was when Amanda had got into the room.

Amanda let out another heavy sigh and moved closer to her mother. She sat softly on the couch beside her and called her mother's name a couple of times before she finally looked at her. She could see how broken she was, how her eyes were welling up. Amanda was treating up too, _again_, but she quickly swallowed and took her mother's hand between hers.

"I have to go get some shopping done with Natalie," she sighed. "Then we'll go to school for the game, but we will have to go to the gym for the last check, you know for the dance." She trailed off, noticing the smile that began to take over her mother's face.

"It's okay, sweetie." Judith said taking Amanda's hands in hers instead. "You go have some fun, I'll be fine." She smiled.

Amanda couldn't help but smiling too, she released her mother's hand gently and stood up. "Try to get some sleep, please mom." She pleaded, as her mother nodded, smiling to herself, realizing how the situation was reversed. _Like many other times_.

"I won't be late." She promised and pressed a soft kiss on Judith's cheek before she left the room.

**...**

Later that day, Amanda and Natalie went to the game, and they couldn't be more excited with the atmosphere, it was like a little celebration and everyone was happy and cheering. While making their way to their seats, Natalie scanned the whole place looking for Matt. Instead, she found someone else, someone she hoped she wouldn't see.

"What is it?" Amanda elbowed Natalie's arm, seeing the frown on her face.

"That damn girl, _again_!" Natalie said sitting, and pointed at the cheerleader.

"Oh, crap." Amanda huffed, as Natalie's answer was the most obvious answer. "Now what? She's the cheerleader too?" she huffed in frustration throwing her hand in the air.

"I guess so," Natalie nodded. "Quitting the Cheerios was the biggest mistake you've ever made."

"Yeah," Amanda agreed, smiling sadly staring at 'that girl', who took her place. Just now, she realized how much her life was happier the last year, and how everything was good enough to make her happy. Just now, she remembered how she used to think everything was going to get better, and how stupid she was to actually _believe_ in that, she believed so bad that being in denial that everything fell apart and all the dreams, the hope, and the faith, turned into a nightmare. As she saw her fears turn into a reality.

Amanda felt a tear escaping her eyes; she wiped it quickly and cleared her throat. "It wasn't my best move, I know. But yours was the worst."

Natalie laughed sarcastically, slipping her hands into the pockets of her jeans jacket. "He was the one who was about to leave me for such a girl," her tone was slightly shifting. "And I wasn't going to wait till he does. I had to do it first."

"You're still not sure about that." Amanda said turning to face her friend. "We were aware of what kinda girl she is, and we knew that she was faking all of it just to get you and Adam separated."

"Still, it doesn't change the fact that he actually kissed her when we were together."

"And I still feel bad for the guy; we didn't make sure that this really happened." Amanda paused, and looked back at the cheerleader.

"He didn't deny it." Natalie huffed.

"Maybe she forced herself on him, _"

"Whatever, Amanda!" Natalie cut Amanda off starting to get nervous. "Just drop it."

"As you wish."

**...**

Few minutes later, the two girls were silent, while everyone around was starting to get more excited cheering louder waiting for the game to start, as the school team entered the football yard. Amanda felt her cell phone buzzing in her jeans' pocket, when she checked it out she saw it was Kevin; she simply put it back in her pocket.

"You're not gonna get that?" Natalie finally spoke, breaking the silence.

"It's Kevin." Amanda sighed resting her back against her seat.

"So?" Natalie raised an eyebrow.

"So how exactly am I gonna leave to a quiet place when Matt didn't take his eyes off of me since he's got into the yard?" She questioned smiling at Matt. Amanda's presence was very important to him; all that mattered to Matt that she was around, watching and cheering him. He felt as if her smile only was lightening the place, pushing him forward and giving him more strength to make her proud of him.

Natalie just hummed and turned back to the game, which has already started while Amanda was speaking. Amanda sighed feeling the cell phone buzzing again, and again, and one more time. She was one hundred percent sure that Kevin was completely freaked out right now, he has been calling her the entire last night, but she never picked up. And now, she was doing just the same.

A while after, when everybody was into the game, Amanda sneaked out and went to a little bit calmer place to call Kevin, who stopped calling.

"_My God, Amanda! You almost kill me."_ Kevin breathed through the phone once he picked up.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to." A wide smile formed on Amanda's lips, He was so worried about her… that actually said _a lot_.

"_Are you okay? When you didn't __answer __or called back, I started to freak out. I'm on my way to your house right now." _He said fast, and then he started to catch his breath.

"I'm good, more than you could ever imagine." She said in shyness, knowing he got what she meant from his chuckle. "I was asleep when you called last night, and now I'm at the school game. That's why I couldn't pick up or call back earlier." She explained leaning against the wall beside her, in the hallway to the football yard.

"_Just don't do it again, okay?"_

"Okay, I promise." She said chuckling. "Oh, turn back to your house now."

"_You're not going home soon?"_

"No, the game is still on. We're winning, so I guess I might stay for the celebration."

"_With your friends?" _He asked and Amanda nodded even though she was talking to Kevin on phone and she knew he couldn't see her, still, she nodded like he was meant to feel it or expect it, and somehow he did.

"_So when are we actually __going to __talk?" _He asked desperately, whining like a five-year kid making Amanda chuckle through the phone.

"Soon," Amanda was still laughing. "Today was the last day of work, and tomorrow is the dance, so, more free time I guess."

"_Good."_ He paused and seemed like he was thinking. _"Won't you need someone to go with you to the dance or something, I suppose?" _Amanda remained silent, she knew what was coming, and for her shock, she didn't manage to say a word.

"_That's if you didn't get this one covered too," _He chuckled.

"Actually, I didn't think about it." Amanda finally managed to say something, "I'm kinda hosting it with Natalie, so…"

_"I'll take that as a yes." _He said fast cutting her off. _"At least I'll finally see you." _Amanda couldn't help but smiling, even if he didn't see her, _again_.

_"Okay when should I come and pick you up?" _

"No, don't come," She said fast, almost freaking out. "Come to the school, I'll meet you there."

_"Because of Tom, right?"_

"Yeah."

"_I told you before and I'm telling you again, I can take care of him. Tom's my friend and he'll understand."_

'Then you know _nothing_ about your friend' Amanda thought. "Let's just keep it that way till I tell him myself, okay?"

_"Okay. Call me when you're back." _

"I will. Take care, Kevin." She smiled.

_"You too, Amanda."_

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><p><strong>Ain't Kevin such a sweetheart? hehehe, well then what do you think? I hope you like the chapter *worried look*, remember reviews are LOVE so please REVIEW :) and let me know what you think of Kevin and what you think might happen soon ;) lots of juicy chapters in the way, more about Natalie, Matt, and Kevin ;) so please REVIEW *HUGS*<strong>_  
><em>


	7. It's Supposed To Be Me

**Author****'s Note: ****First of all, I'm terribly SORRY for the late update, guys! Thank you so much for being so patient and awesome as usual :)**

**Nancy, Lulu, Chelsea, Rana, Adam ... THANK you so much for your amazing reviews :D Also, SO HAPPY you loved SPN story** **... HUGE Thank you for everyone who read it, reviewed and alerts of any kind :))**

**The Usual "THANK YOU" for Asya55, you're AWESOME, check out her work, she's literally AWESOME** ***HUGS*. Back to our same old topic, juicy long chapter is waiting for you, so HAVE FUN ;)**

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><p>"Congratulation, Matty. I knew you gonna make it!" Amanda hugged Matt ruffling his dark wavy hair. Their school's team won the match, and once the game was over, everybody rushed to congratulate the players, it was a celebration as everyone kept cheering and hugging, while some stayed in the back just to tease the other team calling them losers and mocking them.<p>

"Thanks, babe," Matt whispered into Amanda's hair, returning her tight with a tighter one. She felt his hands sliding up and down on her back, he pressed chin to her left shoulder, feeling him _actually_ smelling her hair. She knew he was _awkwardly_ enjoying this a little more than he should.

"Um... you're welcome, Matt." She pulled back from the _super_ awkward hug, stumbling, trying to avoid any eye contact with him. Yet, she still could see him with the corner of her eyes still staring at her.

"Well, good job, baby." Natalie said pulling Matt into another hug. "You really rocked back there." She added winking, punching him on the shoulder playfully.

"I could have raised the score if I wanted," Matt chuckled rubbing his shoulder where Natalie punched him. "But, I thought we should lay some mercy on them." He smirked smugly.

"Ain't you such a modest?" Natalie mocked arching an eyebrow.

"Well, it's a part of my charm." He winked at her making her join Amanda as they both laughed at his remark.

"So, are we gonna,–" Amanda's eyes widened and couldn't finish her sentence when she was interrupted, hearing that familiar "Matty", knowing who must have said it, disgusted from both the way it was said, and the person who said it, and she knew Natalie shared the same feeling with her. The cheerleader threw herself into Matt's arms, as she almost made him lose his balance. In return, not able to blink, Matt just hugged her back. She released her arms from around his neck slowly, still standing next to him, pressing her side against his, and wrapping her left arm around his waste.

"Hey, Nat," The cheerleader greeted Natalie coldly with a smirk, and then turned her attention to Amanda. "Hey, …umm." She trailed off pretending to be thinking, putting a finger on her lips, closing her eyes.

"It's Amanda, sweetheart." Amanda smiled coldly, nodding.

"Right," The other girl said fast smiling widely. "My bad."

"What are you doing here, Rachel?" Natalie asked crossing her arms against her chest, not able to go through 'the cold war' with that annoying girl in front of her, not now, not ever.

"I'm celebrating." Rachel said, faking a wondering face. "What does it look like I'm doing?"

"Well, it looks like you're just being yourself," Natalie snapped at her. "A bitch."

Amanda moved fast towards Natalie and squeezed her arm, trying to calm her down. But apparently, Natalie didn't have the intention? to. Her free hand formed into a fist and she needed to hit somebody, and Rachel's face looked like it can use a punch.

"Oh, really?" Rachel smirked, not even blinking, still pressing against Matt, who didn't want the situation to turn into a big fight, which will put Rachel – _only –_ in danger. He knew Natalie was tougher than Rachel, and that Natalie could cut her in a half or eat her alive if she wanted.

"Hey, hey," Matt shouted pulling away from Rachel. "Both of you, just, calm down." He demanded harshly. Natalie rolled her eyes, fighting so hard the urge to hit Rachel in the face, to shove her to the ground, and do whatever would please her and make her feel better. Amanda was gripping on Natalie's arm even tighter now, trying her best to keep her furious friend still.

"Now go change, and follow us. We'll be at The Rock." Matt told Rachel as she nodded, taking a last chance to shoot Natalie another hot glare, before she turned and ran towards the building.

"'Matty', really?" Natalie snapped at Matt once Rachel was out of sight.

"Natalie, please. Would you calm down?" Matt moved closer to Natalie, and grabbed her by the shoulders trying to calm her down.

"Don't ask me to calm down, Matt." She pulled away angrily, taking a step back. "Why you're being so nice to her all of a sudden?" Matt opened his mouth to talk but Natalie didn't give him the chance. Instead, she stepped forward and pointed towards the building that swallowed Rachel a few seconds earlier.

"You know who that girl is. And …" She trailed off taking a deep breath trying to calm herself down. "And you know what she did to me… me and Adam." Her voice was shaky as she fought the tears that were threatening to escape her eyes.

"Nat," Amanda sighed taking her friend's shaky hand in hers. She looked at her silently trying to say something that would comfort her, but she couldn't find anything to say. She sighed again and looked at Matt giving him the 'do something' look, then she looked back at Natalie who was looking away now, fighting the tears as hard as she could.

"Natalie," Matt sighed taking a step closer to her, leaving only a few inches between their faces. He waited until she finally looked at him with her teary eyes; he cleared his throat and smiled a little. "I'm sorry, I know you hate that girl, we all do. But I don't know what happened, it's just–" Natalie's huff cut him off; he closed his eyes for a few seconds then opened them. Matt grabbed Natalie by the shoulders again, forcing Amanda to take a step back and let go of Natalie's hand.

"Look, she's been so nice to me recently, I don't know why. I tried to stay away and stop her from forcing herself on me like how she did just now, but the more I tried, the more she kept trying as well. So," He shook his head waiting eagerly for any response from Natalie, who frowned and shared a look with Amanda. She let out a heavy sigh and looked back at Matt.

"I have heard lately she does that, a lot." She said smiling sarcastically then placed her two palms on Matt's chest, feeling his fast heartbeats underneath them. "It's okay; I just flipped out seeing her in the first place, seeing her doing _that_ too. You know."

Amanda let out a small chuckle seeing the relief on Matt's face, and Natalie shared the same feeling with her. Matt smiled and pressed a soft kiss on Natalie's cheek. "So we're good?" He asked.

"We're always good."

**...**

The trio walked into The Rock. It was a local underground place that kids used to hang out at, where they managed to sneak some alcohol, and sometimes, other things. But now, Amanda, Natalie, and Matt went to celebrate with the rest of the football team after winning the game.

Matt reached out shaking his teammates' hands, as the noises came louder, the cheering, the raised glasses against each other, making toasts, as the voices started to call out at once 'Matt', 'Matt', 'Matt' over and over.

After greeting, exchanging jokes, talking here and there, Matt joined Natalie and Amanda in the booth where they joined the other two guys sitting there to celebrate.

"Look who finally remembered us!" Natalie scoffed giggling, sipping the last drops of her beer.

"Look who started to get drunk so early!" Matt smirked joining them the booth.

"The girl is right, chucklehead." One of the guys next to him said raising his voice for Matt to hear him. "Beating the hell out of the 'Lee Campbell' team, doesn't give you the right to ditch us, bro."

"Shut up, Nick," Matt snatched the beer from Nick's hand, he took a couple of sips finishing it for him; then looked back at his mate who was protesting. "Sucky players don't get the chance to finish their beers."

"Shut up." Nick frowned adorably making everyone, including himself, burst into laughter. "We need more drinks." He said waving to the waitress.

"And I need to go." Amanda said standing up when Natalie pulled her back, forcing her to sit back down.

"Come on, buzz-killer. Why's the hurry?" Natalie asked her annoyed.

"You know why the hurry, Natalie. You're drunk, not dumb." She whispered reminding Natalie of what she had told her earlier that day; about the fight last night, Tom, her mother, basically everything.

"Oh, good luck then." After a long moment of silence, Natalie seemed to remember finally. Matt was too busy drinking and teasing Nick with Dock's help – the other guy sitting with them.

"Congrats again, Matt," Amanda smiled at him getting ready to leave. "Have a nice night." She nodded moving her eyes from Matt to everyone else around the table, then made her way towards the bar-cafeteria front door.

Matt stood up quickly and grabbed her left arm softly making her stop. He turned to face her then asked, "Is everything okay?"

She smiled at him gratefully; he always cared about her, always knew when everything was okay and when it wasn't. She saw it in his eyes, she always did.

"Everything is just fine." She nodded patting on his left shoulder "Get back to your friends, and I'll see you tomorrow at the dance." She winked at him, knowing he didn't buy it but she left anyway.

**...**

Back at her house, Amanda found everything just the way she left it. Nor Susan neither Tom were back yet, the door of her mother's room was still close. The house was calm, so calm in a way Amanda haven't seen before; there were always some noises here or there in each corner of the house, the house was never that quiet. Wither the fights, which were the _usual_ recently, or the giggles and the laughter she, Susan, and Tom used to share, back when they were kids. Amanda scanned the whole house with her eyes ending with her mother's room closed door. She moved closer, and before she could knock, she heard someone crying on the other side of the door.

_"I wish you were here, I wish you could save me from all this."..._ _"Oh, I'm so tired. I'm so tired._"

Amanda closed her eyes at what she just heard; she didn't want to hear any of it. She didn't want to interfere in her mother's life like this. Yet, she couldn't stop herself from listening to each and every word that just came out of her mother's mouth carefully; she guessed who her mother was talking to (calling for), the one whom she always could let her guard down and expose her feelings to. _Grandma,_ Amanda thought.

"Of course she misses her as much as I do, hell it must be more than I do, it's her mother… Come on!" Amanda whispered, cursing herself silently. She heard her mother's sobs stop as she probably heard her whispering across the door. Amanda cursed herself again, and entered the room without even knocking, making Judith jump off the bed throwing the photo she was holding – of some people Amanda didn't have much time to recognize – under the bed. Amanda smiled awkwardly and couldn't help questioning why she was so dumb tonight.

"I'm sorry, mom." She said feeling awkward; Judith nodded and sat back down on the bed. "Tell me you got some sleep when I was out." Amanda said sitting on the bed as well, facing her mother, and closed her eyes knowing the answer, still hoping she was wrong.

"How can I, Amanda?" Judith said tiredly, wiping her wet cheeks. "How can I when each second I close my eyes, I keep wondering why Tom hates me so much? Not to mention, thinking of what I possibly could have done wrong? How?"

Amanda sighed sadly unable to look in her mother's eyes. She knew she was right, how could anybody go to sleep, knowing someone hated him to death the way Tom always showed? She wondered.

"You know what, Amanda?" Judith looked down at her hands then looked up back at her daughter. "I started to think that I'm the one who's wrong. You know, like Tom said last night, my only sister turned her back on me once our mom died, my husband, my son, my daughter…"

"Well, I'm your daughter, too." Amanda cut off her mother, pointing at herself. "And I'm telling you, you're the best mother I could've ever had. Maybe you made some mistakes, but who doesn't?" Judith looked away and a sad smile curled up on her mouth.

"Don't think that low of yourself please, mom. And don't give up, you're better than this. Just try to be positive." Amanda said waving her hands in the air. "Besides, someday, everyone will get to know who was good and who wasn't. Even if they didn't…, well, somehow they will." She finished, laughing a little feeling unconvinced herself. Judith shook her head and laughed as well. Then she patted on Amanda's hand, and looked at her hazel brown eyes where she always found love, comfort, and appreciation.

A long moment of silence passed before Judith broke it. "Thank you, Amanda." Judith thanked her, and she really meant it.

"For what, mom?" Amanda asked smiling at her mother.

"For everything you do, every word you say. For loving me so much."

"Lady, I'm just being your daughter, you don't have to thank me for that!" Amanda laughed a little.

"You're being more than a daughter, you're my sister, my friend, and sometimes…" Judith trailed off letting out a small laugh of appreciation, and then placed her palm on Amanda's knee. "Sometimes _my_ mother." Amanda just nodded, she didn't say anything, she felt it too. Sometimes she felt that her mother was her daughter, whom she had to protect, watch out for, and take care of.

"So," Judith cleared her throat changing the topic. "You called your dad, yet?" Amanda dropped her head forward in frustration letting out a sigh, and muttered something. She let go of her mother's hands; she stood still for a few minutes before she stood up. She paced the room back and forth nervously, looking like she was trying to find something to say instead of starting to curse. The view of her, only, pacing the room this way, made Judith dizzy. Finally, Amanda stopped and turned to look at her mother, stretching a hand in the air, and the other one on her hip.

"I wanna know, who's the grown up here?" But before Judith could open her mouth, Amanda kept going getting more nervous, not giving her mother any chance to answer any of her questions. "Who's the dad here, ha? Shouldn't he be the one to call? If he can't pick up the damn phone to call his daughter, make sure if she's still alive, why can I?"

"Aman_" Judith tried to stop Amanda who started to pace the room back and forth again, crazier. But clearly, Amanda was in her own world now, she didn't even hear her mother calling for her more than once, keeping cutting her mother off.

"Oh, you'll tell me 'he's your dad', 'you can be better than him'. Well, that makes me better than he ever was for my entire freaking life. Every time he leaves, I call _him_. I go to _him_. Hell I even keep trying to make things better between you two, but apparently, he doesn't even remember that he has a damn daughter till she calls." Amanda froze in her place catching her breath, and then looked at her mother unable to read the expression on her face.

"So I'm sorry, mom. I didn't call him." Amanda finished, frowning, crossing her hands over her chest.

"Wow," Judith whispered at last looking up at Amanda. "I was just asking, baby. I wasn't gonna ask you to call him or blame you or anything, I was just asking." She chuckled a bit, standing up, and then moved closer to Amanda.

She cupped her daughter's face, feeling the tension shooting in Amanda's whole body, seeing the endless sorrow in her eyes mixed with anger, and something else, something that stood out strongly even if Amanda tried her best to hide it. It was guilt, Judith knew that look in her daughter's eyes, and that was exactly how she acted when she feels guilty. Amanda felt guilty because she didn't call her father since he had left over a month ago, anyways, she pulled the 'I'm pissed off and crazy' show, hiding what she really felt, what she really wanted to do, she _needed_ to call her father.

"I'm not going to ask you to do anything against your will, sweetie," Judith smiled brushing Amanda's cheeks with her thumbs. Amanda closed her eyes and dropped her head forward, breathing heavily.

"I know you'll make the right choice, you always do." Amanda felt her mother's arms pulling her closer, she rested her head on her mother's chest, where she always felt safe, and relieved, hearing the beats of her heart. The best sound in the world she would ever hear, Amanda thought.

Against her will, a few tears ran down Amanda's cheeks on Amanda's cheeks, but she finally let them fall freely, not raising a hand to wipe them away. "I miss him, mom." She whispered, burying her face into her mother's chest. "I miss him so much!"

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><p><strong>Sad, I know :(( Kill me now! LOL ... Okay guys, Long chapter as I promised, tell me what do you think of the new character, expecting more from her? Will she play an important role in the story? Missing Kevin? MOST IMPORTANT, Ready for the DANCE? Reviews are always LOVE... PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, Review and let me know what you think *Hearts*<br>**


	8. The Dance

**Author's Note: Woho Finally I updated :) So sorry for the late update, guys ! **

**Big 'Thank you' for everyone who read and reviewed and any alarms of any kind :) Chelsea and Nancy thank you so much for the awesome review .. ALSO a special 'Thank You' to the new reader Samuel Chester, Hope you like all the upcoming chapters :D **

***The HUGE usual thanks to the best Beta EVER: Asya55 .. Now, ready for the chapter you've been waiting for? If the answer's yes then start reading and enjoy ;) **

**Have fun and don't forget to review :D**

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><p>"How do I look?" Amanda asked, turning left and right nervously in front of the curved mirror in her bedroom.<p>

"Amanda!" Natalie sighed, standing off the bed. "It's the fifth time you ask me that, and once again, I'm telling you, you look just gorgeous."

"You're my friend; of course you'd say so." Amanda turned to the mirror and scanned her reflection in the belted chiffon pink dress that poured loose to her knees, putting on the bracelet, which matched her silvery high heels. She ran a nervous hand through her silky brown hair that hanged loose on her bare shoulders, and took a deep breath.

"You look beautiful too, Nat." Amanda said smiling at her friend through the mirror, applying some light makeup. "The dress matches you so well."

"Thank you," Natalie smiled moving closer to join Amanda in front of the mirror. "I always thought black wouldn't look that good on me, apparently I was wrong." She wore a short one-shoulder black dress with a white bow and black high heels as she kept her red hair curly as she usually did. Looking at the nervous Amanda beside her, Natalie smiled and letting out a small laugh.

"Kevin will be charmed, you don't have to worry." She teased smiling wider before Amanda slapped her on the shoulder playfully laughing.

"Let's go then, we don't want him to wait." Amanda said and Natalie nodded.

Hearing the girls walking downstairs, Judith was standing waiting for them to come, as Tom joined her a few seconds ago. Judith cupped her hands smiling widely and almost tearing up while Tom himself was a half-open mouth staring at the girls in front of him.

"You look beautiful, young ladies." She said stunned.

"And I agree." Tom finally said staring at Natalie now. "When did you two grow up so beautiful?" Natalie shared a confused look with Amanda asking the same question in her mind. _Tom is being nice! That's new._ Amanda thought raising an eyebrow but said nothing.

"Well, thanks, Tom." Natalie forced a smile uncomfortable with the way Tom was _actually _checking her out. "Thanks, Aunt Judith." She added warmly.

"Thanks, mommy," Amanda reached out pulling her mother into a hug before she remembered. "Matt didn't come yet? He should pick us up tonight!"

"I- I told him not to come," Natalie said fast giving no chance for Judith to answer. "I thought he'd be tired after last night, the game, celebrating, you know." She explained smiling nervously.

Amanda looked at her suspiciously, but it wasn't the proper time or the place to talk about it. "Whatever!" She shrugged and walked to the front door as Natalie followed so did Judith and Tom.

"Oh," Amanda turned fast when she opened the door. "It's good to be nice by the way, Tom. See? It doesn't hurt." She told him and walked out of the house; Tom shook his head and let out a small huff refusing to admit it.

"See you later." Natalie said to Amanda's mother who stood on the house porch waving to the girls as they got into Natalie's car.

**…**

Pulling over at the school crowded parking lot, Amanda and Natalie got out of the car and walked into the building towards the gym where the students gathered in circles sharing talks and laughter. The DJ Natalie hired was already on the stage next to the empty dance floor. A wide smile curled up Natalie's lips as she shared a grateful look with Amanda who was also smiling. Everything was just the way they planned for; the purple paper lanterns hanged from the ceiling reflecting the light on the white and pink walls and the glittery floor, as the entrance was made of white and blue balloons with a big icy white star fixed above with the school name carved onto it.

Natalie headed instantly to the boys locker room, where they hid the alcohol supply, and once she saw Matt and Dock there, taking care of everything, she let out a relived sigh, it was safe and now after making sure of that, she can go enjoy the party.

"Gotta admit, we did an amazing job right here." Amanda said proudly looking at Natalie.

"We did." Natalie said back smiling excited.

"And I gotta admit too, you two look beautiful." Natalie turned at the voice and smiled nervously seeing Matt right in front of her. "Just, _wow_."

"Been said," Amanda giggled moving closer to him. "You look so handsome in the suit, Matty." She told him fixing his collar as he shivered under her soft touch when her fingers touched his neck.

Amanda turned to look at Natalie who was avoiding every possible eye contact with Matt, trying her best to keep herself busy with anything else. Amanda raised an eyebrow at her forcing her to look at Matt.

"Yeah, you look good." She said fast clearing her throat; Matt nodded smiling nervously breaking the eye contact with Natalie. Amanda looked back and forth suspiciously between them; _something weird is really going on here._ She thought.

"I'll get you something to drink," Matt offered snapping Amanda out of her thoughts giving her no chance to start questioning. "The usual?" He asked Natalie who nodded without looking at him. Once Matt left the girls alone, Amanda looked at Natalie raising her eyebrows.

"So?" She asked.

"So What?" Natalie played dump scanning the place with her eyes.

"What's going on between you two?" Amanda asked but she didn't give Natalie the chance to answer as her cell phone rang cutting them off.

"It's Kevin," She said looking at the phone screen; and then pressed the answer button as Natalie sighed in relief.

"_I'm here._" Kevin said once Amanda picked up.

"And I'm coming." Amanda smiled widely and hung up; she turned and squeezed Natalie's hand breathing and asking her to pray for her in silence before Natalie calmed her down smiling, then Amanda made her way to the entrance.

"Where's she going?" Matt asked coming from behind Natalie's back.

"To bring Kevin." She told him simply taking her drink from his hand and took a sip.

"Kevin?"

**…**

Outside the building, Amanda saw Kevin at the parking lot leaning against his car; she froze for a second and kept staring at him in the simple white shirt under the black jacket and jeans that fit him so well, she took a deep breath then walked towards him waving.

"Hey, you!" She called smiling drawing his attention to her. Reaching him, Kevin leaned off the car and looked at Amanda blankly as his jaw almost hit the floor.

"Ah... hey," He said with the same expression on his face studying every detail in the girl who was standing a few inches away from him. Amanda smiled shyly at him and looked away for a second. _Natalie was totally right,_ she thought smiling widely.

"Wow, Amanda." He looked up at her eyes and shook his head. "You're so beautiful tonight." He breathed smiling.

"You look good too," She told him with the same smile. "Wanna go in?" She asked pointing at the building where the dance was almost stuttering.

"Sure," He answered fast before Amanda turned waiting for him to walk beside her. Kevin reached out a hand and held hers softly making her smile at the feeling of his warm touch on her soft skin.

**…**

Inside the gym, Natalie was trying her best to calm Matt down, as he was getting more nervous by the second since he knew about Kevin.

"And why exactly I'm the last one to know about that freaking guy?" Matt said almost yelling, but fortunately, the music was too loud for anybody to notice what looked like a small fight next to the alcohol locker.

"Matt, I told you not even her mom knows about it," Natalie said glaring at Matt who huffed angrily and let out a small sarcastic smile shaking his head.

"Matt, look," Natalie sighed in a calmer tone. "It's the first time to see Amanda a bit happy in a long time, she's been through much and we both know it, so please, let's not ruin the night for her." She pleaded.

Matt looked at her pouting at first then his face started to relax, still angrily. The thought that Amanda was happy because someone who's not him was bugging the hell out of him, but he _loved_ her and so he wanted her to be happy, even if that meant watching another man entering her life, when he was around, and couldn't help, which bugged him even more.

"You're right," He sighed sadly and swallowed hard seeing Amanda entering the gym with the _other guy_, hands clutched to each other. Natalie squeezed his hand smiling in appreciation.

When Amanda reached her friends, she looked at Matt and closed her eyes letting out a heavy sigh. Just now, she remembered she never mentioned Kevin to him, she even never thought about it. Opening her eyes, she followed what Matt's eyes caught and instantly pulled her hand from Kevin's. A long awkward moment of silence passed before Amanda broke it introducing the two men to each other.

"Matt, this is Kevin. Kevin, this is Matt." She said not able to look up at Matt's face. "And of course you already know Natalie."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Kevin shook Matt's hand, who forced a smile trying his best for Amanda's sakes. "Amanda talks about you a lot; she always says you're more like a brother to her." Kevin said innocently smiling at Matt.

"Ya, that's just… _great_," Matt said clearing his throat.

"Glad to see you again, Kevin." Natalie smiled at him before she glanced at Amanda who was not the only one having a hard time now.

"Yeah, me too,"

**…**

Twenty minutes later, Amanda and Kevin were still standing not so far away from the alcohol locker, chatting and talking about everything that crossed their mind, like they were two old buddies who can talk about every and anything, while she kept a good eye on the nervous Matt who started to drink so early. Natalie wasn't that far either, she also kept watching her friends and Kevin, taking mental notes – to tell Amanda later – that he didn't take his sparkling blue eyes off of Amanda, forcing her to break eye contact every time their eyes meet, blushing softly a little.

As usual, Natalie decided to ease the tension in the air and bring back the joy to her friends. She had been planning for that night for such a long time, and she wouldn't let anything ruin it, doing her best to make sure it would be a great night, for her, and her friends. "… _and nothing will kill the mood tonight." _She thought out loud. Climbing on the stage, Natalie asked the DJ man to play a specific song, which was one of Amanda's favorites.

_Whenever I'm alone with you  
>You make me feel like I am home again<br>Whenever I'm alone with you  
>You make me feel like I am whole again<br>Whenever I'm alone with you  
>You make me feel like I am young again<br>Whenever I'm alone with you  
>You make me feel like I am fun again<em>

Amanda turned her head reflexively at the sound of her favorite song while a wide smile was painted all over her face seeing Natalie coming towards her and Kevin.

"Guys," Natalie called excited as she reached for Amanda's hand. "Come on, no one stepped on the dance floor, yet. Would you give me the honor and be the first?" She asked softly earning a glare from Amanda.

"Come on, Kevin. I know you won't refuse my first request ever, will you?" She told him pouting playfully. Kevin smiled widely almost smirking, _hell; I've been waiting for such a moment since god knows when_. He thought.

"Only if our queen here would like to give me the honor," Kevin turned to look at Amanda who looked at the both them blankly and remained silent.

"Oh, trust me she will," Natalie winked before she literally pulled Amanda to the dance floor then pushed her against Kevin making her stumble a little and hit Kevin's chest softly.

"Now dance, show me the passion, encourage people to join you." She told them clapping her hands before she walked to the locker where Matt probably started to get drunk.

Amanda shivered a little when Kevin wrapped his arm around her waist. She smiled at him, speechless, losing the ability to talk, to even find the right words to say. But even with the awkwardness, Amanda still enjoyed the sweetness of that moment, being in Kevin's arms, dancing with him, as he held her gently, swaying with her on the music, Amanda was actually happy, for a long time she didn't feel like that, and it was good to remember such a sweet feeling.

_Whenever I'm alone with you  
>You make me feel like I am free again<br>Whenever I'm alone with you  
>You make me feel like I am clean again<em>

"So, you'll stay silent till the end of the night?" Kevin asked moving smoothly with Amanda on the song's rhythm.

"Ah…" Amanda chuckled and shook her head. "I just don't know what to say."

"Well, I do." He told Amanda, capturing all her attention, as she got lost looking into the blue gem of his eyes. "I was waiting for such a moment since I first met you," He finally said making it even harder for her to find any word now.

"And I can't even begin to tell you how much this dance means to me." He added slowing their moves and narrowing the tight space between them even more.

"Amanda!" Natalie called out for Amanda almost yelling, making her jump and snap form Kevin's arms. "I need you for just a min." Amanda froze for a moment looking at Natalie wondering how she got that close without noticing her.

"Okay," She finally said nodding then looked back at Kevin who looked somehow disappointed. Natalie nodded at him in a silent apology while he took a step back.

"I'll get us something to drink until you two finish," He told Amanda smiling nervously.

"One cheater is so enough in this friendship," Natalie told him fast pointing at herself, making him look at her blankly trying to understand what she meant. "Amanda doesn't drink, dah!"

"Oh, right." Kevin said fast smiling awkwardly. "I'll get you soda or something then." He told Amanda before he turned and made his way towards the alcohol locker.

"What's wrong?" Amanda asked impatiently seeing the nervous look on her friend's face.

"Let's find somewhere quiet, I can't even hear myself here." Natalie said back making her way out of the gym, dragging Amanda with her.

Outside at the quiet long corridor, Amanda stood facing Natalie waiting for her to talk.

"So?" She asked.

"So, this night ain't gonna end up well, not in a billion years," Natalie answered breathing heavily.

"Why is the hell is that?"

"Matt is drinking the hell out of himself in there," Natalie said avoiding the eye contact with Amanda who frowned taking a step closer to her.

"Because of Kevin?" She asked instantly knowing the answer, but she had to ask anyway. Natalie nodded.

"Crap!" Amanda cursed sighing resting her back against one of the lockers, and closed her eyes.

"I talked to him and everything was going alright," Natalie sighed looking at the frown on her friend's face. "But suddenly, he seemed to forget what he promised me earlier."

"Promised?" Amanda raised an eyebrow trying to avoid the wave of dizziness she just felt.

"Well," Natalie cleared her throat. "He promised me that we won't spoil the night for you. You know, you must have been waiting for a moment like th_,"

"It's okay, Nat." She said fast cutting Natalie off. "It's really okay; you don't have to worry about a special moment or whatever,"

"But," Natalie started but Amanda cut her off again.

"But nothing," She said.

"Is everything okay here?" The two girls turned towards the voice and saw Kevin standing at the end of the corridor.

"Yeah," They answered in the same time then exchanged a look. "Everything is just fine." Amanda told him smiling.

"Sorry if I interrupted you or something," He apologized smiling nervously. "I just didn't find you in there so I wanted to make sure everything is fine. I'll leave you alone now." He finished turning around to get back to the gym.

"No wait," Natalie called making him stop in his track turning back to look at them. "We're done here; I'm the one who'll leave you two alone." She gave Amanda a last comforting look before she made her way back to the gym. Amanda nodded and leaned back against the locker trying to shake off the dizziness she still felt.

"You sure everything is okay?" Kevin asked again walking towards Amanda as she nodded. "Okay then. I brought you this." He said handing her the cup of soda he brought.

"Thank you." She smiled sweetly before she took a sip. "Just in time,"

"Awesome," He nodded looking in here eyes as she also did.

Both of them were quiet as there was no need for the words anymore. When he took one more step closer to her, Amanda felt her body shaking before Kevin held her hand and soothed her softly forcing her to look up at him. Kevin's eyes dropped on Amanda's lips forcing her eyes to follow his and do the same. Looking back into her eyes, it was time.

Kevin leaned down slowly, seeing that Amanda saw it coming and didn't resist, he smiled softly at her as she closed the small gab between them, and then, he pressed his lips to hers softly and gently, sharing their first kiss.

_Whenever I'm alone with you  
>You make me feel like I am free again<br>Whenever I'm alone with you  
>You make me feel like I am clean again <em>

* * *

><p><strong>So? They kissed :D FINALLY! How you feel about it? What do you think will happen next<strong>**? Let me know what you think and PLEASE ****review :)) *HUGS***


	9. My Mind Vs My Heart

_**Author's Note: **_**First of all, I'm TERRIBLY SORRY for the super late update. Things been so messed up here and it was so hard to anyone to sit and write, you know. Plus, I'm having my final exams meanwhile, I know it's not a good excuse since I haven't updated for more than a month, but I promise you guys, I'll do my best to update faster next time. My exams are almost finished.. means more chapters, faster ;)) **

**Just wanna thank everybody who read, reviewed and alarms of any kind. Chelsea, Nancy, Samuel and XRana811 :) Thank you so much for your support guys, hope you like the new chapter ;) Also a SUPER and special 'thanks' to the best author on the site for being an amazing beta, Asya55. Check her stuff, awesome stories ;)  
><strong>

**One last thing, a shout out for the newest Egyptian, awesome buddy .. XRana811, as she published her first SPN story ever, 'Start Again' .. Check it out, you won't regret :D Now, read and enjoy :)  
><strong>

* * *

><p>"I can't." Amanda pulled away, breaking the kiss that lasted for seconds. "I'm so sorry, Kevin. I just can't." She took a step back unable to look him in the eye. Amanda ran back to the gym, leaving Kevin in the long corridor staring at the empty spot where she stood a few seconds ago.<p>

Walking fast to the gym, Amanda crashed into Matt, who appeared suddenly in front of her. At the moment, all she wanted was to get the hell out of there, she didn't want to be in that place anymore, not even for a second, she just couldn't. But Matt's appearance made it harder for her dream to come true.

"What's wrong?" Matt asked in concern, putting his hand on Amanda's shoulder but she pulled away instantly.

"Nothing," She whispered, not looking at him as she tried to make her way out, when she heard Kevin calling after, but she didn't stop or turn around, not even when Matt tried to stop her by grapping her arm.

"Matt, please. I need to go, now!" She said firmly trying her best not to shout. Matt pulled his hand back and turned to look at Kevin who rushed after Amanda, calling out her name.

"What did you do to her?" Matt yelled, demanding.

"What? Nothing," Kevin answered him with a frown.

"Oh, yeah?" Matt raised an eyebrow blocking Kevin's way and sight.

"Yeah, really," Kevin said trying his best to remain calm; he didn't like the way Matt was talking to him. Besides, he didn't know what was really going on and what made Amanda run away from him like that, breaking the beautiful moment they were in the middle of.

"Just step aside and let me get to her, Matt." Kevin asked Matt politely trying to pass through him.

"Step aside my ass!" That was the last thing Matt said before his white strong knuckles met with Kevin's face, it was so fast that Kevin didn't see it coming.

With the sound of Kevin hitting the floor and the gasps that followed from the people around, Natalie noticed what was happening across the room between the two men.

"What the hell?" Natalie exclaimed, shocked by the scene of Kevin on the floor while Matt was standing right in front of him, glaring furiously and ready to take another swing.

"Matt! Are you nuts? What's going on here?" She yelled at Matt who seemed to be trapped inside his own thoughts and anger – most likely jealousy, waiting for Kevin to stand up that he'd hit him again. Natalie helped Kevin to get back on his feet, shooting hot glares at Matt who was the cause of that mess.

"Are you okay?" She asked him in a worried apologetic tone, checking his nose for any blood.

"I'm fine. Thanks, Natalie." Kevin told her adjusting his suit, then looked at Matt who was daring him silently for a payback.

"I ain't fighting with you, Matt. I got no time for this crap." Kevin said walking past him. "Plus, you're pretty drunk and believe me, you don't want bruises _and_ a hangover. Too much for you, kiddo." He added mockingly.

"Oh, or you're not brave enough to do it, Mr. Walking Wisdom?" Matt mocked back trying to pull him into a man-to-man fight.

"I'm doing this for Amanda." Kevin preferred to put an end to this nonsense, that could hardly get to be called a conversation, the whole thing was starting to get on his nerves. He rushed to the gym door in order to get the hell out of that place.

"What the hell was that?" Natalie yelled again at Matt slapping him on the shoulder.

"Give me a break," He huffed rolling his eyes, turning around, and walked his way out of the gym as well.

"Matt! Matt!" She called him, but he left and never turned back ignoring her.

"Thanks for the great night by the way," Natalie shouted in order for Matt to hear her, wiping her face in frustration.

"Awesome!" She muttered letting out a heavy sigh.

**...**

_Looking out from underneath,  
>Fractured moonlight on the sea<br>Reflections still look the same to me,  
>As before I went under.<em>

_And it's peaceful in the deep,_  
><em>Cathedral, you cannot breathe,<em>  
><em>No need to pray, no need to speak<em>  
><em>Now I am under.<em>

**...**_**  
><strong>_

Judith was lying on the couch in the living room, reading a book, when she heard the front door slamming shot harshly all of the sudden, which made her almost jump. She got off the couch and went to see what was going on.

"Amanda!" Judith exclaimed surprisingly once she saw her daughter standing in front of the door. It was still early, and couldn't even have passed ten, what made her get worried. "What's going on, sweetheart?" She asked Amanda who was leaning against the front door panting and gasping for air.

"Nothing, mom." Amanda replied fast between her fast breaths, avoiding any eye contact with her mother. "I just need to go to my room." She added before she made her way to the stairs.

"Were you running your way back here?" Judith asked, ignoring her daughter who climbed the stairs pretending she didn't hear her anything.

"Amanda!" She snapped at Amanda making her turn around and look down at her mother from upstairs.

"Mom, please!" Amanda said choking with her own tears that were stinging at her eyes threatening to fall. "Can you please leave me alone, at least for now? Please!" She pleaded in a low shaky voice.

"Amanda, what's going on?" Judith asked in a calmer tone, taking a few steps up towards her daughter. "Just tell me, baby. What's wrong?"

"I need to be alone!" Amanda ended the conversation leaving her mother on the stairs and running to her room.

Once Amanda entered her room, she closed the door slowly behind her, and leaned against it, breathing heavily before she slid along the door, letting herself fall to the ground, bursting into tears.

"What did you do?" She muttered to herself between her tears burying her face into her hands. "What did you do? What did you do?" She kept repeating, crying her heart out, and hitting the back of her head frustratingly against the door, over and over. She felt so lost; she had no clue why she did what she did to Kevin, leaving him that way, wondering what he had done wrong. _Or maybe she knew but she didn't want to admit it_. But, at the moment it didn't seem to matter answering all these questions, all Amanda wanted was to hide, to run away and get lost.

"What did you do?"

**...**

_Though the pressure's hard to take,  
>It's the only way I can escape,<br>It seems a heavy choice to make,  
>Now I am under.<em>

_And it's breaking over me,_  
><em>A thousand miles down to the sea bed,<em>  
><em>Found the place to rest my head.<em>

**...**

When Judith went to check on her daughter a few minutes later, she couldn't help but cry as well, listening to Amanda's sobs from the outside, it broke Judith's heart). She had no idea what was going on, she couldn't feel anything but grief and sorry for her daughter. Judith took a few steps closer to the room; taking a mental note that Amanda calmed down a bit. She was going to knock her daughter's door, but before doing that she heard the door's bill. She threw her hands in the air, frustrated as she let out a heavy sigh, and then went down to open the door.

**...**

"Hey, aunt Judith." Kevin smiled weakly once Judith opened the door for him.

"Hey, Kevin." She greeted him back smiling, but her smile faded fast when she took a closer look at his face. "What's wrong?" She asked in concern pointing at Kevin's bruised face in.

"Oh, no it's nothing." Kevin waved off forcing a weak smile. "I just slipped and hit my face, not a big deal, don't worry." He said fast smiling nervously.

"Yeah," Judith said nodding. "Take care next time, young man." She told him smiling warmly.

"I will. Thanks." He nodded smiling back.

"Alright, come on in." She stepped aside making him a pass to get inside. "Tom is asleep, wait inside till I woke him up."

"Ah, um... actually, I didn't come here for Tom." Kevin told her slowly, hesitated before Judith raised an eyebrow.

"I'm here for Amanda," He elaborated fast seeing a big question mark painted all over her face. "Can you tell her I'm here, please?" He asked politely giving her no chance to start asking any questions, which he can not answer.

"Alright," Judith nodded slowly, looking at him suspiciously. "Okay, come in, I'll tell her you're here."

"Thanks, but I'll wait here." He said slipping his hands into his jacket's pockets.

**...**

"Amanda, open up." Judith knocked on her daughter's door, waiting for her to open up eagerly.

"Mom! Which part of 'I need to be alone' is too hard for you to understand?" Amanda said from the inside, as the stress started to get to her, making her get snappy.

"There's someone who's asking for you down stairs, someone as in Kevin!" Her mother informed getting serious and grumpy. "So, open up. NOW!"

Hearing Kevin's name from her mother, knowing that he was actually down stairs, asking for her, Amanda felt as if someone hit her head very hard. But there was no time to panic, her mother was losing her patients as she kept knocking, so Amanda pulled it together, and opened the door for her.

"What do you mean he's asking for me?" Amanda asked her mother, looking at her with wide red eyes once she opened the door. "Is he here? Here like, here?"

"Yes, here like here, Amanda." Judith confirmed taking a step closer to her daughter. "And I guess it's what this all about, right?"

"Oh God!" Amanda turned around ignoring her mother's upcoming speech. The last thing she wanted was for Kevin to show up on her door steps out of the blue just like that, since no one knew about what was going on between them. Suddenly, she remembered that Tom was in the house too, maybe he was asleep, but he could wake up any minute and bust her and Kevin.

"Oh God!" She said again trying to breathe. Amanda then walked into the bathroom to wash her face as Judith followed behind; trying to figure out what exactly was going on.

"So?" She asked crossing her arms against her chest, leaning against the bathroom door board.

"Okay, mom, look," Amanda said wiping her wet face with a tissue. "I'll tell you _everything, _just let me get down stairs and get it over with, before Tom wakes up, okay?" She said nervously walking out of the bathroom.

"Before Tom wakes up?" Judith asked raising an eyebrow.

"Mom, I will tell you everything, everything, promise!" She promised her mother, who gave her a silent okay, nodding. "Thank you." Amanda sighed thanking her, before she ran downstairs.

Seeing the front door slightly open, Amanda took a deep breath wiping the last few drops of water off her face and walked towards it.

"Okay," She whispered to herself as she opened the door, seeing only Kevin's back. She thought of turning around and running back to her room, but her senses worked faster than her mind as she cleared her throat to make him notice that she was behind him.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't hear you coming." Kevin apologized, turning around to face Amanda, who looked awful. She was still in her pink dress, her hair was a mess, and all the makeup was mixed up with the tears, leaving gray mascara traces all over her face, not to mention her red puffy eyes.

"Are you okay?" Kevin asked in a worried tone noticing that she didn't even look at him since she got out.

"I'm fine." She huffed tiredly.

"You don't look so."

"Thanks for your concern, but I'm _fine._" She told him angrily before she looked up at his face. Seeing the bruise near his nose, her eyes widened and without controlling herself, _again_, she reached out to touch his face, and make sure he was okay.

"Oh God! Are you okay? What is that? Does it hurt?" Amanda burst out checking on him, making him smile at the touch of her soft skin on his face.

"Now it doesn't." He said smiling at her before she felt his hand on hers pressing it to his face.

"Did Matt..?" She cleared her throat pulling her hand back.

"It's okay," Kevin answered with a huff.

"What happened?" Amanda asked swallowing hard.

"We just had a small fight, but everything is okay now." He said fast assuring her.

"A small fight? Look in the mirror, dude!" She said sarcastically making Kevin chuckle.

"Dude? Seriously?" He laughed making her smile in spite of the situation. "I thought Natalie is the only 'dude' fan in this friendship." He said laughing, quoting the "dude" word with his fingers.

"Yeah, Natalie's influence!" She said laughing a bit with a sigh.

"May I ask, what was happened back there?" Kevin asked taking a step closer to Amanda, leaving only a few inches between their faces. Amanda closed her eyes and swallowed hard taking a step back.

"Amanda!" Kevin sighed softly, trying to make her look at him. "What's wrong?" He asked impatiently as Amanda looked back at him and shook her head. She looked between his blue eyes and the front door for a few times before she closed it and pushed Kevin gently towards the small garden where Tom couldn't see them – in case he woke up.

"Kevin," Amanda sighed heavily looking at him. "Can we do this later?"

"What?" Kevin asked clueless.

"Tom is here and," She paused tucking her hair behind her ear nervously.

"And what, Amanda?" He asked crossing his arms against his chest.

"Can you just go now?" Amanda asked him pleading. "Please!"

"Sorry, I can't." Kevin answered shaking his head as Amanda huffed desperately, leaning against the house outside wall.

"What's going on, Amanda? I thought we had a connection." Kevin told her calmly, pouting a bit.

"We do, but," Amanda said back before Kevin cut her off.

"No 'buts'," He said making her shake her head, letting a nervous laugh escape her lips. "Amanda, look, I like you, and I guess you like me back, I feel like our relationship can go further. We have something here, and I won't let go that easy." Kevin said softly, making Amanda almost tear up.

It was the first time for Amanda to hear such words, and they meant the world coming out from Kevin. Yes, she liked him, it was more than just a crush, and yes, there was something special they did have which she didn't want to let go of either. But it wasn't the way it worked. As much as it felt so right to be around Kevin, to have him in her life, as he made her life better, in every sense of the word, yet, she couldn't let it happen, she couldn't just let him enter her miserable life and get involved in her problems which weren't his fault. _It was not fair_.

"I can't do that to you, I can't," Amanda said finally, as a tear escaped her eyelids unwillingly. "It's not fair, Kevin."

"What are you even talking about?" Kevin's breath caught in his throat, seeing the tear sliding down Amanda's cheek, while he couldn't reach out to wipe it for her. Even though how much he wanted to rush towards her and hide her between his rips, and tell her that everything is going to be okay, he couldn't, because he respected the personal space she needed no one to conquer at that moment. Kevin softened even more seeing Amanda wiping the tear gently away.

"I can't let you enter this hell I'm living in. I can't let you go through what I'm going through at the moment, for a long while now. It's my fault I let it happen in the first place, you don't deserve this, you like me and now what? Is this the prize I'm giving to you?" Amanda burst out unable to fight the tears that were streaming all over her face. "It's not fair; you deserve better than this!"

"Shush, calm down, Amanda!" Kevin couldn't take it anymore, and he finally rushed towards Amanda wiping her tears with his thumbs, but she pulled back, making him raise his in a defensive way. "Just, calm down, alright? Calm down." He told her trying his best to calm her down.

**...**

_And the arms of the ocean are carrying me,  
>And all this devotion was rushing out of me,<br>And the crashes are heaven, for a sinner like me,  
>The arms of the ocean deliver me.<em>

**...**_  
><em>

"Okay," Kevin sighed, cutting off a long moment of silence. "Feel better now?" He asked looking at her closely, and she nodded wiping the last trace of tears off her face.

"Okay, Amanda, look," He started, looking at her. "I don't know exactly what you were talking about, you didn't say much about your life, and I'm totally okay with it." He paused putting a finger on her lips stopping her from speaking. "But I DO know one thing, that I want you in my life, I need you around me." She looked at him dazedly, unable to reply and he didn't wait for any.

"I need you in my life, Amanda." Kevin confirmed with a smile. "And I don't care about all the crap you said, that 'you deserve better' blah blah, I can't even find a reason for you to say something like that." He added shaking his head taking a step closer to her. "And you don't get to choose for me," Kevin said in a husky voice leaning forward gazing in Amanda's hazel eyes, before he took her small chin between his fingers.

"Okay," She said in a whisper, hesitated. "Okay," Amanda said again nodding with more confidence looking into his pure deep blue eyes, and allowed him to get closer until their lips met for a soft gentle kiss.

Kevin cupped Amanda's face for another passionate kiss before he smiled against her lips when she deepened the kiss.

"I call that a good way to make up!" Kevin said as he pulled back gasping for air making Amanda chuckle a little at the look on his face.

"Thank you," Amanda thanked Kevin sincerely breathing.

"Thank me?" Kevin asked raising an eyebrow. "I'm the one who should be thanking you." He said referring to the perfect kiss they just had, which he always dreamed of.

"No, really, thank you." Amanda said again, blushing a little. "You know, for everything,"

"Anything for my queen," He winked playfully, stroking her cheek with his thumb.

"And whatever Matt did to you, I'm really sorry for it." She told him fast as she just remembered the _small fight_ Kevin said he and Matt have had earlier. "I'll have a long talk with him, and kick his butt."

"Nah, never mind," Kevin said laughing. "He's just a kid, we've all been there."

"Oh, that makes me a kid too?" Amanda asked pouting playfully.

"I told you, you're my queen." He whispered leaning forward again and pressed a soft quick kiss to her lips.

"Amanda!"

Both of them heard Judith calling her daughter from the porch, as she couldn't find her in or out the house.

"Oh crap!" Amanda cursed remembering that she left her mother waiting, not only for her but for many answers.

"Crap!" Kevin cursed as well, knowing that Amanda's mother knew nothing about them, plus showing up on their doorsteps asking for Amanda, who came home probably crying, made things even more complicated, Kevin thought.

"I gotta get inside now," Amanda said fast pointing at the house.

"Look, if you want me to get in with you," Kevin offered before Amanda cut him off.

"No, it's okay. Don't worry," She told him smiling in appreciation.

"You sure?"

"Yeah, it'll be fine," She assured him smiling.

"Okay, say hi to your mom for me. I'll call to check on you when I'm home." He told her smiling as she nodded.

"See you later, Amanda." Kevin said turning around making his way out of the garden. "Get some rest."

"I will, you too," Amanda smiled back waving at Kevin.

Once he was out of her sight, Amanda took a deep breath and headed to the porch, preparing herself for a long tense speech, hearing her mother calling for her one more time.

"Coming, mom!"

**...**

_In the arms of the ocean, so sweet and so cold,  
>And all this devotion I never knew at all,<br>And the crashes are Heaven, for a sinner released,  
>And the arms of the ocean,<br>Deliver me._

_Never let me go, never let me go._  
><em>Never let me go, never let me go.<em>

**...**

* * *

><p>*The Song: Never Let Me go - By: Florence and The Machine :)<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Sooo, I hope you guys liked it. A long chapter as a way to make it up for you for waiting so long :) How was it? Please let me know what you think, just hit the blue button down there and leave me a review ;) Let me feel your presence .. remember, reviews are LOVE. *HUGS* <strong>

**Aya  
><strong>


	10. Heartache

_**A/N:** _I don't even know how to apologize for being so late! *hides* But really, Writer's block is the worst. I won't talk a lot, I just hope you find the chapter worth the wait, and I'll try to post the next chapter sooner :) Really Hope You Like It, Guys (Hugs)

- Thanks to everybody who reads, review and follows this story. Rehab, XxRana811, Kinai-Disraeli and Nancy: Thank you so much for your continuous support, Really hope you like it, ladies ;)

- **ASYA : **What would I do without you?

* * *

><p>Missing the fact that anyone in or outside the house could see her, nervous Amanda was trying desperately to stay out of sight, since her and Kevin were alone in the house. What the nervous young lady didn't know that someone was watching her from the way she walked in, and he saw it all.<p>

Matt was there, frozen and unable to define his feelings. Anger, hatred, jealousy, self-pity, or loss, he didn't know, or even tried to know. He just stood there, far enough for Amanda and Kevin not to see him

After Matt had left the dance while Natalie was calling his name from behind, and he didn't even bother to answer, which he mentally kicked himself for doing that and being a jerk. He only jumped into his truck, taking off on Kevin's heels.

His anger made him see nothing but the car he was following, but he finally recognized where they were heading, Amanda's house. It didn't stop him; in fact, it made him more eager to press harder on the gas paddle and speed up, maybe take a swing at Kevin and force him to stop his car, to end the fight once and for all. But he didn't do that either. Matt tightened his fists around the steering wheel and just kept driving, and when they reached their destination, he couldn't help but stand there and watch.

Closing his eyes to shut out what he was seeing, Matt could taste the saltiness of the tear that unconsciously slid down his face. He wiped it angrily and walked fast back to his truck. Settling behind the wheel, it occurred to him how relieved he always felt after talking to Amanda about whatever was bothering him, letting her share his burden with him. A small bitter laugh escaped his lips at the irony of the new situation.

He couldn't do any of this, now could he? What was he supposed to tell her? How would he explain to her that the cause of his pain was the same cause of her happiness?

Too many questions were running through Matt's mind, too many feelings that he couldn't identify any of them yet. Even if it was too soon to judge whether this thing would last or not…

_Who am I kidding? _Matt thought.

The way they looked as they kissed, and how they were looking at each other and the heating passion that surrounded them, which Matt could feel it from where he was standing. Seeing how comfortable Amanda was in someone else's arms, he couldn't take, he just couldn't.

Swallowing hard, feeling a lump in his throat, Matt started the car and drove off, not to a specific destination; he just wanted to get away from there. He wanted to be as far as possible, as if the far he could get the easier to forget what he just saw and felt. As if the distance was going to make any difference.

**...**

It was a long tiring day, starting with the fight between Matt and Kevin, and Amanda who disappeared all of the sudden, Natalie decided that was it. She grabbed her stuff, didn't bother to wait until the dance was over, and took off.

All the way back to her house Natalie kept replaying everything that had happened. Although she tried her best to make it a good night for everyone, everything went wrong so fast. She disappeared for a minute, _just __for one__ freaking minute_, and when she got back everything was totally and perfectly fucked up.

"Ugh, DAMMIT!" Natalie cursed in frustration at nothing but the cool air of the late night that was into the car through the open windows. She took a calming breath, sighing in relief when she reached her home.

It was quiet inside the house, as usual since no one has been living in there but Natalie, for almost a year now. She closed the front door behind her quietly as if she was afraid to wake up whoever was asleep in there. Shuffling slowly, Natalie made her way to the nearest couch in the living room, taking off her coat and boots on the way.

Natalie's house was two stores, a simple not too big house with a small garden around it. The living room had an off-white rug, with two dark blue comfy couches, and a small wooden coffee table in the middle. There was a LCD screen hanged on the wall, with two shelves down on its sides, one of the shelves was backed with CDs and DVDs of all kinds, while the other had so many books.

The bedrooms were on the second floor, where Natalie's room faced her parents' across the hall, next to her brother's.

She gave the couch one more glance before crossing the room with a huff throwing her body onto the other one instead. Her eyes traced the pattern of the wallpaper that was covering the whole room walls, and then they rested on the ceiling. The dim lights and the peaceful quietness of the night were relaxing and it dragged her into a semi-conscious state.

**...**

_**A **__**night earlier... **_

Natalie huffed fumbling with her car keys for the forth failing attempt to open the driver's seat door. She had, _finally_, left The Rock after her and Matt were done celebrating, having their fair share of both, drinking, and the annoying Rachel. Losing hope to drive in such a state, she rested the hand with the keys on her hip, wiping her face tiredly with the other.

"Someone drank more than she should have, here!" Matt declared, teasing. He took a few steps towards Natalie till he was standing face to face with her, with a wide grin on his face. "Need some help there, babe?" He offered, tipping his chin up at her.

"And someone will get a punch if he says this damn word again!" Natalie threatened, but with no heat.

Matt grimaced playfully. "Aww, Nat. You're hurting my feelings." He pouted.

"Dude," Natalie threw him a look out of the corner of her eyes, shaking her head. "So not sexy when you're pouting."

"Oh, I am always, _babe_." He smirked at her, pressing at the word he knew so well it pisses off both; Natalie and Amanda. "Just ask around."

"Quit missing around already," Natalie let it go, tired. Scratch that, _exhausted_. She tossed the keys onto her friend's chest and made her way around the car hood to the passenger seat, without another word.

The events of the day were starting to catch up with Matt who was tired to the bone, as well. But, he was trying as much as he could to get Natalie out of her bad mood –bad mood was an underestimation to what she felt – and finally couldn't find a better way but teasing her the way they always did. He shook his head, granting himself with a genuine smile for the glory of successfully annoying her, _friendly_.

With a deep sigh, Matt slipped behind the wheel, the same smile still painted all over his face. He glanced at Natalie, who had already relaxed into her seat and seemed to sink deeper into it; arms crossed above her chest with her head rested against the cool glass of the passenger seat, her eyes were fixed at something out of the window, which Matt guessed she was the only one who could see.

"Staring is creepy, you know." Natalie told him without turning her head or changing her position. Matt chuckled, and with another sigh, he started the car and drove as steady as he could without being busted.

**...**

After a couple of – _thankfully_ – mistakable accidents, Matt stopped the car in front of Natalie's porch , barely leaving distance between the car and the house, like he was about to enter the house or something. Hands still tightened around the steering wheel, he glanced at his friend beside him to find her already asleep. He let out a relived sigh, grateful for saving his already aching head of being cuffed many times by Natalie.

"Hey, Nat," Matt whispered, tapping Natalie's shoulder gently with his right hand, still gripping at the wheel with the left one.

Getting no answer, he called a bit louder, "Natalie, we're here." His tight grip around the wheel loosened and his body visibly relaxed when his friend started to show signs of awareness. Apparently, carrying her to the nearest couch inside the house wasn't on his to-do list for the night.

"Hmm," Natalie shrugged his hand off, trying to get back to the peaceful oblivion, but finally giving up after Matt's several attempts to wake her up. "Would you stop nagging now? I'm freaking up!" She half snapped-half yawned, uncrossing her arms and looked at him.

"Says the one who's been asleep like the dead ten minutes ago," Matt pointed out, opening the driver door and hung a leg out. "You gonna stay here all night, or what?"

"Or what!" Natalie stepped outside the car in one fluid motion, noticing how close the car was to her house's door. "Seriously?!" She exclaimed to no one in specific, still, Matt just shrugged and walked to the door.

Shaking her head, and instantly regretting it, Natalie reached out for the car roof when a wave of dizziness crushed onto her.

"Whoa!" Matt hurried to her, slipping his strong arms under hers, keeping her from falling. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Natalie answered slowly, closing and opening her eyes several times, willing the dark spots at the edge of her vision to go away. "Yeah, I'm good. Drank more than I should have, I guess. Just like a jerk said earlier," She confessed slyly.

"No shit!" Matt smirked, fumbling with the pockets of Natalie jeans' jacket for the house keys, while supporting her at the same time.

"What are you doing?" She asked, confused.

"What it looks like I'm doing?" Matt asked back, still trying to find the keys.

"Ah … like you're robbing me!" Natalie answered as a matter of fact.

"You are really drunk," Matt said, more to himself, shaking his head. "Let's just get you inside, alright?"

"'Kay,"

Once they walked inside, Matt led his drunk friend into the living room, stopping when she swayed slightly one more time.

"Well, that's it," He reached out, slipping an arm under Natalie's knees and another under her shoulders –effectively cutting out her 'What are you doing?' startle– , and carrying her bridal style.

Halfway to the stairs, Matt's bravado wavered and he,_ too_, swayed dangerously with Natalie in his arm, whose only react was giggling and tightening her grip around her friend's neck.

"Alright, well," Matt huffed, regaining his balance, and then he seemed to have second thoughts about taking the stairs while carrying Natalie. "Change in the plan," He added in excitement that was defiantly out of place, and headed back to the living room, and to the nearest couch.

He almost dropped Natalie on the couch, and stumbled forward, hitting her forehead with his not too softly, as her hands were still wrapped around his neck.

"Ow," Natalie laughed, releasing him and rubbed her forehead. Matt only chuckled and rubbed his in return.

"Always thought you got a rock in that head of yours," She teased, pointing a finger at his head.

"And you're so welcome," Matt said, taking a seat beside her on the couch. He rested his head at the back of the couch, closing his eyes. The gesture didn't go missing by Natalie, who straightened up, supporting her body on the elbows.

"You alright?" She asked worriedly. Matt let out a soft chuckle, and opened his eyes to look at her.

"Another dumb drank more than he should have," He smiled. Natalie let out a huff and relaxed back on the couch. "It was … quite a night," She said tiredly.

Matt turned his head and looked at her, frowning, "Don't tell me that you let whatever she was doing get to you?" He asked, referring to the _annoying Rachael_. It seemed like she officially got the nickname, not like she didn't earn it anyway.

But there was no response from Natalie.

"Oh, come on!" He shook his head and sighed. "Nat," He called, placing his palm on her knee to get her attention. "You know that she doesn't worth you to even think about her, let alone getting that … upset."

"Upset?" Natalie's brows flew up in surprise. "Upset doesn't even touch it, Matt!"

"Would you just forget about her?" Matt pleaded, trying to comfort his friend anyway he could but finding non.

"Whatever, Matt," She huffed, "I really don't wanna go there right now."

Matt ignored her protest, apparently having another thought. "She wasn't saying but lies, you know that, right?" He prayed silently to hear the 'of course, I know' answer, which he knew he probably won't hear.

Natalie shrugged very slightly in response, sitting now, looking down.

"A spare? You?" He lowered his chin, trying to hold her gaze. "Everybody around knows very well how much Adam loved you. He would _never_ say something like that!" Natalie flinched at the mention of her ex-boyfriend, finally meeting Matt's eyes with hot glares.

"You heard her, after everything I did for him, after all the love I had for him, 'Natalie was just a damn spare until he found _the_ one.' He told her that," She almost yelled, turning around to face Matt completely. "Everybody heard her. And by a magical chance, _she_ is the freaking one! And he left me for her, after I _left_ _my_ _own family_ for him. So, don't you say it was a lie!" She finished clenching her jaw, holding back the tears that were burning behind her eyes.

"Na-,"

"Just don't," She cut him off, turning her head away, wiping the single tear that managed to escape.

After a couple minutes of uneasy silence, Matt cleared his throat, "I think I better go," He announced, getting up. "Can you," Natalie whispered, not looking at him. "Can you just… stay for a while?"_'_ _Just a little while, I'm sick of being alone every night'_ went unsaid.

"Of course," Matt breathed, settling back into the couch. "Of course, Natalie,"

"Thanks," Was muffled by a low sob, followed by a stream of tears. Matt then didn't hesitate. He placed a gentle hand on the back of her neck, and pulled her into a hug, which she accepted gratefully, and buried her face into his chest.

"Shh," Matt continued soothing her as Natalie cracked between his arms and let her tears stream loosely, leaving wet traces on Matt's T-shirt. "It's okay, it's gonna be okay," He kept saying when Natalie finally raised her face from his chest and looked at him with teary, blood-shot eyes.

"How?" She asked, heartbroken. Matt saw the desperate need for help in her eyes. The need to be assured that it was just a lie, that Adam had loved her the same way, and even more than he always used to tell her. Natalie was reliving the same night she broke up with Adam, and Matt was in the same helpless situation and loss of words to comfort her. Seeing her this way, and sitting there watching, was almost too much. He hesitated for only a second before he crashed his lips onto hers, sensing her surprise, but then he cupped her face with his both hands when she kissed him back.

They deepened the kiss, both too frustrated and needing an escape, a way to get lost of their surroundings. Matt's hands lowered to Natalie's waste as she started to lean back, giving him more access, and he complied. He was almost on top of her, when reality finally hit him, and he started to back away. Natalie's hands tightened around his neck, pulling him to her, and crashing their lips together one more time.

"Natalie, we can't," He managed, trying gently to un-wrap her hands from around his neck. She gave him a silent 'please' with her pleading eyes. She was longing to find a way to forget Adam, using Matt was wrong, she knew, but the sensation was almost overwhelming, too much for her to handle right now. She wanted a distraction, wanted to just quit thinking about the guy she loved for almost two years, sleeping in another girl's arm while she was burning from the inside out.

Matt seemed to read it all in her weary eyes, He opened his mouth to say something, and then closed it in a total loss of words. His eyes slipped to her lips and back to her eyes. If that was what would make her feel better, even for just that night, he would do it. She was pleading for his help, and that he couldn't deny her.

He relaxed, letting her take some of his weight, before he brushed a curl from her red hair off her face and sighed. "You're beautiful. You know that?" Matt said softly, cupping her face and she leaned to his touch.

Natalie chuckled in spite of herself, "Now, that's the booze talking," She laughed slightly then reached up for Matt's lips, letting herself fall and get lost within his touch.

**...**

_**Now, **_

The sound of the thunder, followed by the rain pulled Natalie out from her daze. She flattered her eyes a couple of times, wondering when it started raining heavily outside, wondering when she fell asleep. Her eyes fell instantly on the other couch across from the one she was now sitting on, and her breath hitched. She let her shoulders sag a little, lowering her chin and sighed deeply.

"Blame it on the booze!" Natalie whispered to herself a couple of times, and closed her eye. She wondered when the situation spun totally out of control, how she was able to ask something like that from her friend and put him in such situation. She was weak and her weakness didn't only show in everything she did but it also took control of actions that night, she needed help and in a moment of desperation she cured herself with a poison. She almost forgot the feeling of having that one person whose warm touch she could feel on her skin, his breath on her neck, the safety of being in someone else's arms.

Using Matt was not fair –but the hell if she didn't like it. More than that, he made her feel safe, which was pissing her off even more. It was wrong. They should've never done that. They should've never-

_BANG!_

"What the…?!" Natalie's head snapped up at the _bang_ of something hitting the front door. She stood up quickly and moved fast towards the door. Shoulders tensed, she twisted the door handle slowly and carefully pulled the door open. Something heavy was leaning against the door, when she opened the door wide enough to see, Natalie gasped at the sight of Matt who was soaked with water. As if the door was the only thing keeping him upright, Matt knees buckles once she opened the door, as he fell right in front of Natalie

She barely managed to catch him in time by his shoulders, before Matt's weight dragged her down and she sank to the ground with him in her arms.

* * *

><p>How was it ? I really would LOVE to hear your thoughts, let me know what you think and please review :) *Hearts*<p>

Aya


	11. Underneath

_**A/N:** _So, as I promised, I updated as soon as I could this time :) And since it's the first anniversary for this story, I'd like to thank everyone who's still sticking with me and for everyone who supported me all along! This story wouldn't be going this long if it weren't for you, guys, so, thank you :)

-The usual thanks for the ladies who're reading and enjoying this story so far. **Nancy**, thanks for reviewing and being awesome like always, baby *Hugs*. **Special thanks **to Ebrahiem for starting reading and being so nice to me more than I deserve, hope you'll keep enjoying the upcoming chapters, dude :)

- I highly **recommend** for you to read this chapter while listening to the sound of rain, you'll be surprised with the effect ;) Try ' '. **P.S: **prepare a towel for this chapter.. fair warning :D

- **Asya, **you rock, babe!

**Merry Christmas**, Now Enjoy :)

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><p><em><strong>Previously that night… <strong>_

_The way Amanda and Kevin looked as they kissed, and how they were looking at each other and the heating passion that surrounded them, which Matt could feel it from where he was standing. Seeing how comfortable Amanda was in someone else's arms, he couldn't take, he just couldn't._

_Swallowing hard, feeling a lump in his throat, Matt started the car and drove off, not to a specific destination; he just wanted to get away from there. He wanted to be as far as possible, as if the far he could get the easier to forget what he just saw and felt. As if the distance was going to make any difference._

**…**

_Steel to my trembling lips,_

_How did the night ever get like this?_

_One shot and the whiskey goes down…_

_Down… down_

_Bottom of the bottle hits_

_Waking up my mind as I throw a fit_

_The breakin' is takin' me down… _

_Down… down_

It was past midnight, the sky was almost dark, only a crack of moonlight made it through to break the cloudy darkness above. The cool air was refreshing, but tingling at some points giving Matt shivers every now and then. He stopped his car one more time in the middle of nowhere, as he tried to control his temper and the rush of blood that was caused by the huge amount of alcohol he had that night, so much pressure he was trying to ease, but it wasn't helping with his fried nerves.

Matt straightened up in the driver seat, dropping his head heavily backward against the seat. Sighing deeply, he decided to get out of his truck, which seemed to close in around him at that moment. Once outside, Matt took several deep breaths, inhaling the wet air that smelled like rain.

A soft drop of water slid along his face making him look above. A drop after drop started to fall and hit the ground in a steady rhythm around Matt, other drops brushing his cheeks softly, leaving wet traces behind. A sad smile tugged at the corner of Matt's lips, his lids slid closed, and his face finally relaxed into a sad smile.

_Molly__ had__ always loved the rain... _

It took him a few seconds to notice that he spoke the words out loud. He chuckled at the memories of his younger sister Molly, and it came out in a sob. She always dragged him out of the house whenever it started to rain, despite their parents' warnings of catching a cold. It used to be their favorite season. _Winter_, when they threw each other with snowballs, ran under the rain, arms and mouths wide open, trying to catch some of the snow or rain. Memories they made, _together_.

Matt's mind snapped back to reality, eyes flattering open, face skywards with his arms spread wide open, as well as his mouth. His expression cracked into a devastating sob as his breath hitched a little and a burn flared inside his chest. Every bad and good memory mixed up together, all of that crossed Matt's mind in fast flashes. He brought his hands in sight and stared at them. He still could see the blood all over them from that night like it was only yesterday, he could feel the dead weight of his sixteen years old, dying sister between his arms.

The rain got heavier, but Matt didn't react, not even a glimpse. Either he didn't notice or simply didn't care. He wasn't beside his truck under the rain anymore; his mind was in another place, where he was surrounded by loud gasps and muffled sympathetic words coming from the groups of people that gathered around the accident scene, and the medical staff which one of them was trying to tear his dead sister apart from his protective grip, mumbling with questions like 'are you hurt anywhere else, son?', 'your head is bleeding, can you let me take a look at that?', 'kid, can you hear me?'.

Matt was aware of the paramedics when they were loading his mother into the back of the ambulance, yelling words he couldn't understand to each other, medical terms his mind couldn't break their code. But she was alive, that's all he knew. Still, his relief didn't last long when Molly's fingers loosened slowly around his wrist. Matt's head snapped quickly to her, eyes widening when a thin line of blood started to drip from her mouth before rain washed it clean off her face almost immediately. Molly was trying to make out a few words and Matt squeezed her hand in his; leaning down to hear what she was trying to say.

"I love… rain." She said with the last breath in her body, going limp in her brother's arm. Matt stared with parted lips as the light left Molly's barely open eyes. He called her name, again and again, grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her hard, begging her to wake up, telling her that she needed to wake up because he couldn't lose her. She couldn't leave him.

After a few long minutes, truth hit him full force. His sister was _dead_. She wasn't around anymore; he wouldn't see her smile, or hear her voice, _never_ _again_. He gathered her against his chest, digging his chin hard into her shoulder, trying to cause her pain in a last desperate attempt to wake her up. He rocked back and forth on his knees, his dead sister in his arms. Voices around him started to sound like humming, as if he was under water. Finally, his body started to give in to its own injuries and his vision blurred wildly. The last words he heard before the darkness consumed him in its welcoming open arms were 'let go, son!'

Matt blinked his blurred vision clear, rain and tears were no longer recognizable from each other as they mixed up together, streaming down his face in his total haze. He looked hesitantly around him, taking in his surroundings. There was no ambulance nearby anymore, there were no more people around, no pity looks to make him feel worse, like every look made a big hold in his soul , there were no paramedics any more. _There was no one._

He unwrapped his arms from around himself, having no idea how they got there, pulling his hands back in sight, and held his breath for the fear of finding them coated with blood. His hands were shaking uncontrollably, but _thank __G__od_ there was no blood. Matt let out a hysterical laugh, which sounded more like a cry of anguish at the realization and dropped his head cupping it into his hands as relief washed over him.

He crouched on his knees, feeling every ounce of energy literally seeping from his body to the muddy ground beneath him. The young man couldn't hold the low sob that formed down his throat as he braced his now shivering body on both hands, palms flat on the ground and broke into a devastating crying fit.

_I've been standing here my whole life,_

_Everything I've seen twice, now it's time I realize_

_It's spinnin' back around now, on this road I'm crawling_

_Save me 'cause I'm falling, _

_Now I can't seem to breathe right_

_'Cause I keep runnin'…_

_Runnin… runnin'_

* * *

><p><em>"Amanda!" <em>

_Both of them heard Judith calling her daughter from the porch, as she couldn't find her in or out the house. _

_"Oh crap!" Amanda cursed remembering that she left her mother waiting for many answers. _

_"Crap!" Kevin cursed as well, knowing that Amanda's mother knew nothing about him, plus showing up on their doorsteps asking for Amanda, who came home crying, made things even more complicated, Kevin thought. _

_"I gotta get inside now," Amanda said fast pointing at the house._

_"Look, if you want me to get in with you," Kevin offered before Amanda cut him off._

_"No, it's okay. Don't worry," She told him smiling in appreciation. _

_"You sure?" _

_"Yeah, it'll be fine," She assured him smiling._

_"Okay, say hi to your mom for me. I'll call to check on you when I'm home." He told her smiling as she nodded._

_"See you later, Amanda." Kevin said turning around making his way out of the garden. "Get some rest." _

_"I will, you too," Amanda smiled back waving for Kevin. _

_Once he was out of sight, Amanda took a deep breath and headed to the porch, preparing herself for a long tense speech, hearing her mother calling for her one more time._

_"Coming, mom!" _

**…**

"God!" Amanda sighed dramatically, crossing the room then turned around facing her mother once again. "Mom, you've been interrogating me for about…" She glanced at the clock on the wall then back to her mother. "For a freaking hour now! I'm tired, mom." The last few words came out in a whisper as Amanda ran her hands through her messy hair and held tight at the end of its length.

Noticing the sudden quietness in the room, she blinked looking back at her mother –who winced at the way Amanda was pulling onto her hair– hoping she had finally decided to lay some mercy on her and send her to bed, or let her sleep on the couch. It didn't really matter where she was going to spend the rest of the night, as long as she would be finally able to close her eyes. Hell, the cold floor looked heavenly comfortable at the moment.

But all her hopes flew out of the window once her mother broke the silence, "Well, excuse my curiosity, young lady. You're telling me that you're actually seeing someone who happened to be your _brother's_ friend, and I know by chance when he shows up on our doorsteps, at _midnight_, asking to see _you_." Judith pointed out sarcastically. "And oh, not to mention that _I_ was the last one to know, what do you expect me to do?"

"Mom, I told you, and I'm telling you again. The whole thing was just a pure accident." Amanda said, spelling each word carefully. "I didn't plan for this to happen! You know how Tom always reacts when I or Suzan even come close to his friends; you know I _wouldn't_ do that if I had the choice. And I tried, mom. I _tried_ to push him away, why do you think he was here an hour ago?" She added fast stopping whatever Judith was going to say.

Judith opened her mouth as to say something but then she closed it again. Knowing she would get better answers without even asking questions if she waited a bit longer and let her daughter spill the beans on her own.

On the other hand, Amanda was mentally and physically exhausted. She didn't have the strength to argue any longer, and she just wanted to push that heavy weight off of her chest and get it over with that long stressful night.

Taking a deep breath, she continued, her tone making it clear that this was the last time she was going to go through that topic, at least for that night.

"I know that it's gonna be hard to convince Tom, that _if_ he even agreed to hear me out, but it's not in my hands anymore. I… Kevin made me feel safe, for the first time in a very long time, made me feel _happy_ again, made me feel that I'm wanted, needed." Her breath hitched for a second before she composed her emotions quickly. "He just told me that he _needs_ and _wants_ me in his life, mom. And _I_ need him. I just… I just need him." Amanda finished and looked down, unable to meet her mother's gaze after revealing her feelings, trying desperately to make her mother understand.

It wasn't that Judith was against the idea of her daughter seeing somebody, or had a problem with Kevin being her boyfriend –it would be a problem later when it came to Tom, but first things first– Amanda knew. But she needed her mother to understand how much this meant to her, needed her support and full approval, because there was no way she could do this without her mother right on her side.

Nodding, Judith sighed and smiled warmly at her daughter who mirrored her smile right away. She moved towards Amanda and rested her hands on her shoulders.

"I get it, sweetheart. And I know you know that your happiness is all that matters to me." Judith said softly, then cupped her daughter's face and brushed her cheeks with her thumbs. "And don't worry about Tom; we'll deal with him when it's time." She added, winking playfully making Amanda chuckle softly.

Amanda gave her mother a quick but a warm hug, wished her a goodnight before she turned and climbed the stairs to her room. Judith watched as her daughter stopped in her track and turned back to look at her one last time.

"I love you, mom." Amanda whispered, smiling softly at her mother.

"I love you too, baby girl."

* * *

><p>It was dawn when Matt was finally inside the safety of his car once again. He had no idea how long he had spent out there under the pouring rain, sobbing for the loss of his life; his mother and sister. At first, it looked as if he had forgotten how to do the simple act of pulling his legs under him. His mind kept arguing with them to move but they wouldn't listen and seemed to have a mind of their own. His body refused to do anything but lay there on the muddy ground and give in to the painless darkness.<p>

An electric shiver ran through Matt's whole body, reminding him of how much his body was aching everywhere. His head was throbbing with an unbearable headache and his teeth chattered. He was cold, _freezing_, and he had to get into the car and head somewhere warm.

Matt finally managed to stand up, summoning everything in him to stay upright, refusing so hard to give his legs the pleasure of not having to bear his weight and forced his knees not to buckle. It was fight of wills, and self control, which Matt wasn't sure he would win, fighting with his grieve and sorrow.

He made it to the car somehow before he put the heater on full blast and sank into his seat, letting it get soaked with the water that was dripping from every inch of his dirty, muddy suit. He twisted the keys, bringing the engine back to life with a loud grunt, and headed unconsciously to the only place he knew would welcome him right now.

**… **

_BANG!_

_"What the…?!" Natalie's head snapped up at the bang of something hitting the front door. She arose quickly and moved fast towards the door. Shoulders tensed, she twisted the door handle slowly and carefully pulled the door open. Something heavy was leaning against the door, and once it was wide enough, Natalie's gasp was welcomed by Matt's water soaked form as his knees buckled and started to fall right in front of her. _

_She barely managed to catch him by the shoulder, before Matt's weight dragged her down and she sank to the ground with him in her arms._

**…**

_'Round and around I'd go,_

_Addicted to the numb, living in the cold,_

_The higher, the lower the down, down, down…_

_Sick of being tired and sick of waiting_

_For another kind of fix…_

_The damage is damning me down, _

_Down…down_

"Matt!" Natalie called again, shaking Matt, who lay in her arms on the floor of the house entrance, trying to wake him up.

"C'mon, Matt!" She shook him hard for one more time. "Wake the hell up!"

Losing hope to raise the miserable young man from his slumber, Natalie let out a frustrated huff, looking skywards and sent a silent plea to God for this terrible night, which seemed to get harder and harder by the second, to freaking end.

She gave her unconscious friend a long worried look, taking in his messed up state. Noting that his skin was ice cold and his body was shivering; she slipped from under his heavy weight and laid him gently, flat on the floor. Natalie stood up and made it to the front door to close it to ward off the rain that was, somehow, getting even heavier. Natalie's attention went to the parked car, seeing the opened door as Matt left it in order to walk to her house. She sighed heavily and looked down again at her friend who laid in her arms, lots of thoughts went through Natalie's mind at the moment, when a huge set of emotions consumed her, fear and anger were the strongest of all. She wasn't sure if she was supposed to feel bad for Matt looking like that, or mad at him for reaching that point, showing up like that on her door steps, _fainting_.

Shaking her head, she went outside the house and walked to the truck. She cursed herself for not changing in something heavier before dozing off on the couch a few hours ago, trying to protect herself from the rain with her short dress and hands as much as possible. She slammed the open door shut, muttering under her breath and returned back to the house. The fact that Matt didn't even have the strength to shut the door behind him worried Natalie even more.

She knew she wouldn't be able to carry or even drag him to the nearest couch. Natalie was tough, but Matt was taller than her and his body was heavy and muscular, plus his water soaked clothes which was added up even some extra weight. So, moving him anywhere was out of debate.

Natalie was doing well so far locking up her concern into a box and throwing the key away. She couldn't afford freaking out now, and she didn't know what was going on with her friend.

Calling 911 was the first thing Natalie thought of, but taking a deep breath, rethinking of the idea, she thought it'd better if she checked Matt first. After all, she had a first aid course last summer with Amanda. She thought she could handle the situation, smelling the booze on her friend; she didn't want any troubles with the police.

_Was he hurt? Something happened to him? Did he do anything to himself?_

"Alright," She took a deep breath, and calmed herself down, taking a mental note to ask all these questions later. She crouched beside Matt's still form and tried to know if he was hurt anywhere. Satisfied there was no visible sign of any physical traumas, Natalie tried to strip her friend off his suit jacket. Matt's body shivered slightly when Natalie managed to get him out of his jacket, but otherwise, he remained unconscious.

Running up the stairs, Natalie grabbed a blanket and as many towels as she could carry. With a heavy sigh, she entered her brother's abandoned room and managed to find two t-shirts, a heavy sweater, sweatpants, and an unmatched pair of socks.

She ran quickly downstairs, leaving a track of cloths behind. She cursed a few times, dumped the remaining cloths on the couch then moved fast, back to stairs and picked up the rest of the cloths. She was starting to panic and had to calm herself down, more important things to do.

Sitting back on the floor beside the still out cold Matt, Natalie worked to dry him and the floor around him as much as possible, and then she raised his head gently and slipped a pillow from the couch under his head. She started to take off the rest of his cloths when Matt finally stirred.

"Matt?" Natalie's hands covered his cheeks instantly, running over his face gently. "Matt? Can you hear me?"

Matt eyes fluttered for a second then slid closed again, leaning to Natalie's touch.

"No!" One of Natalie's hands slid down to grab a fist of Matt's shirt and she shook him again. "Dude, come on. Wake up!"

He finally started to come to sense, rolling his head from side to side slowly before he whispered,

"_Molly_."

* * *

><p><strong><em>Song: Runnin' by Adam Lambert.<em> **

* * *

><p><strong>Ta ta da .. <strong>Please don't hate me :D I really hope you liked it, this chapter is special to me and I knew that you would be intersected to know more details about the accident that got Matt's mother and sister dead. So, I'm gonna remind you again, this is the anniversary of the story, so please be kind and leave a review :) You don't need to have an account .. just let me hear your thought!

Aya


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